Kara Behrens

flocci non facio \m/

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

@UberEats your customer service is atrocious

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

me, knowing most dog breeds and hearing someone say Holland is the only country with a state dog: “the hollandaise!”

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

i wanna fuck you like a danimal

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

“le succareaunt” @kellilivingston

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

“it’s so boston. everyone here is so poor” incl. me

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

“i need to find my legolas dress.”
“Aren’t all dresses legless?” -Scott

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

I have to pee and @BBMAKOFFICIAL is on. Ppmak

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

“i’ve fucked a few people because of their personality,” my boss says as the waiter puts down the bread at a very expensive restaurant

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

HE IS BARELY EVEN FLAPPING HIS WINGS

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

the logistics of tweety though like how does he fly with those wings and that head

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

“oatmeal seeds, or whatever.” -@onlyfarms_
“OATS?!”

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

why didn’t @HilaryDuff do more @TheOfficialCCR covers?

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

“SCOTT ARE YOU GOOD AT HAND ANIMALS!?” “…shadow puppets?”

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

“why haven’t you done that yet?”
“eat mac and cheese off your ass?”

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

“I love listening to cute songs in the car with you.” -Scott, a minute into “swords crossed” from the pirates of the caribbean soundtrack, which he specifically requested

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

Scott might just have broken his nose in the math section at the science museum

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

“have your ever put a breadstick up your butt?”
my friend who works at Olive Garden, way too calmly - “they’re not sturdy enough”

[🐦‍🔥 @THEROYALKOURT]

cash app her $500. she’s sad.

[Kara Behrens @karabehrens]

< watching a man flip his claddagh ring for you ☺️🤗🥰