Karanja

Nature enthusiast🏕🏝, traveller🌍🌎🌏, waterfalls are my favorite🏞⛰

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

@KenindiaKE why are you not refunding my money? You're ignoring all my calls and emails. This is theft.

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

@Safaricom_Care is taasi pochi working? My limit is still zero. Statement not loading.

[Caleb Ŧ @DC_CalebR]

Actual footage of me when credits started to roll on A House of Dynamite

[NASA's Johnson Space Center @NASAJohnson]

The unplanned welcome crew!

Crew-9 had some surprise visitors after splashing down this afternoon.🐬

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

@MihrThakar The only honest man in this government

[Wa Kanuthu @Kaluluu]

A road in the middle of a forest! Kenya is truly beautiful!

[Joshua Okayo @okayojoshua]

A LETTER TO THE RT. HON. RAILA AMOLO ODINGA FROM A GEN Z

Dear Hon. Raila,
I am writing to you from my small bedsitter somewhere closer to Nairobi CBD than Karen, but if we both left our houses for CBD, you would get there way faster than me. Needless to say I’d spend some 30 minutes or more for a matatu to fill. So, basically I mean to say the distance between you and I status-wise is probably no less than Addis Ababa to Nairobi.
In 2007, I was in standard 2 in some village school in Okela village, Uyoma Katweng’a (UK). When Kivuitu announced the results, I was at Loyan’s (a classmate and fiend) place. I felt like a part of me left me. I felt bad bad. I felt like my life, those of my family members and Kenyans generally would not change for the better. I felt I had lost greatly. Here’s why; growing up, we were fed with the notion that you were the only person who would liberate the Luo community. Every child my age would talk about you in school. Everyone ‘worshipped’ you. The teachers taught us about you. Some of them actually called you the President of Kenya. For a long time, I knew you were the President of Kenya. For a long time, I knew Kibaki and Kivuitu were criminals who deserved to rot in jail for stealing your win.
That same year, Hon. Raphael Tuju (Tuch mon) was running for a second term in the office of MP for Rarieda constituency. My mother, Margaret Anyango ‘Nyomollo’ (Eternal rest grant unto her Oh Lord...) was part of some women league supporting Tuju. She was so excited about Tuju. Women in my village, and I guess in the whole of Rarieda loved Tuju. They still do. They talk about him to date. But sadly that year, Tuju lost his seat because apparently you decampained him due to his alignment with Kibaki’s party. You wanted every Luo politician to vie with your Party even if they didn’t agree with your policies. Tuju lost to Nicholas Gumbo. My mother, just like many of her fiends was heartbroken. She told me this story and I felt bad for her. I remember there is a day she came home and found me loudly singing this ‘Tuju’ song by Suzannah Owiyo and she was very upset with me. She was concerned that some ‘Raila supporters would hear me and probably attack me or my family.’ I kept wondering ‘who is this Raila yawa?’ So, really, I was confused whether to be your fan or to feel sad about Hon. Tuju’s loss. I was barely 9 years old remember. But this Raila thing was giving me sleepless nights like some ladies giving Kenyan men sleepless nights and vice versa.
In early January, 2008, my cousins Fred (16) and Dave (7) were traveling from Mombasa back home after a long holiday they had both longed for before. Sadly, they were not to get home until after about 1 month. They were victims of the 2007/08 Post election violence. These two young boys had to suffer for 30 straight days because no bus would be allowed to move until Raila is announced President. Remember the “No Raila No Peace”? I heard about it, even though I was so young. When the two finally got home, they were emaciated, darker and bitter. They were infected with the dangerous chicken pox. That was the first time I heard of such an infection in my life. They had these madoadoa, they looked homeless and I remember people cried when they finally got home. Still, everyone was chanting ‘Raila Tosha’ ‘Agwambo Tosha’ ‘Tinga Tosha’ and we believed you were clean. Msafi kama pamba.

In 2013, I was in standard 8. Results of the March election tore us apart. We mourned for some days but life continued. 2017! Same thing. What I failed to insist earlier is that we were always told these guys (the Kikuyus) always stole your votes. It was taught to us both at home and in school. So I grew up knowing you are the only savior Luos are waiting to get to Presidency. In 2022, I supported you but shingo upande. I did it in belief that there was no better candidate, not like you were the one like I used to believe before. Kahongo already had a glaring bad reputation. (1/3)

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

@KenyaPower_Care if I buy tokens for the wrong meter number, can I get a refund?

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

@Tandy_Shee @alexmwanzo More photos?

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

@CenetorDanKim 600k?

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Kama kuna mtu anafaa kufanyiwa background check before any business begins ni broker wa ng'ombe. These people are evil,the real children of Capitalism. Kuna ng'ombe waliuzia nyanya yangu aki karibu apate stroke,akinunua walimwambia imenona sana aongeze ata ifike 54k. Muuzaji alisema anauza juu mtoto wake anaenda Operation kule india macho moja haioni.

Kile nyanya yangu aliona ndio musa aliona kule egypt. Three days later is when she realized hii ngombe haikumii. There was no cow feaces anywhere,the cowshed was sparkling clean. Vetinery kukuja akapiga exray akaaandika kwa karatasi akasema this cow has hohitad. Yani ng'ombe imefungana matumbo.

Kwanza aliingiza mkono namna hii kwa mkundu akatoka na diaper buana. Ng'ombe imekula makalatas nikama ilikua chokoraa kwenye ilikua. The vet said it needed a surgery,tumbo ilifunguliwa namna hii tukashangaa. It had all things you could think of,from radio batteries to dusters,plastic watches,diapers,even a Taifa leo newspaper from 2022 saying how Ruto was involved in the disappearance of 1.3B$ in Kemsa from the global funding. There was even a blue pati pati. Tulitoa takataka karibu wheelbarrow mzima buana.

Lemme tell you maina,after hiyo ngombe kushonwa ilikonda kama iko na ukimwi. It died 4 days later after kutoa maziwa kikombe nusu for those 4 days. My grandmother spent the better part of that evening cursing that broker while praying for the sellers son to come back blind from India. Alikasirika ata ile meno yake ya plastic inaslide kwa mdomo haishikilii gum. And her last words were,Ruto ní ngui ya múdú. #RutoMustGo

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

@SirKenneth_ 650

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

@Safaricom_Care my internet has been off from yesterday. What's not happening?

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

@JaMtoka Still available?

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

@BigJs_Motors 800k?

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

@buttytongoi Still available?

[The Figen @TheFigen_]

Bowling for professionals! 😂

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

😂😂

[The Government Critic 🇰🇪 @magwaz3]

It's enough guys, leave Khaligraph Jones alone

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

How do white folks vomit inside the toilet bowl? That water might splash into their mouths

[Karanja @karanja_dm]

@fan_bact @city_digest 😂😂😂