Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist

Parody account | Real author (in cognito) | Cute Cnut: The Hardening is out now!

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

Dearest C&FF&Fs! My designer Paolo has outdone himself with the cover art 🎨 for my latest book - Cute Cnut: The Hardening 😍 Lassie 🐕 and I were also thrilled Jenny Lawson ‼️(yes, really ‼️) agreed to grace the cover with her lovely words of encouragement 💞

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

Darlings, it is simply too hot 🥵 here in the UK of England. Lassie 🐕 is confined to early morning walks. Gunther has become one with the sofa 🛋️ as he drinks many cans of Aldi Strong Beer 🍺 to "Stay hydrated." If he were any more hydrated, he would be the River Thames 🚣‍♂️'LOL'

[DB Rook @DB_Rook]

Somehow 2 star reviews sting more than 1 stars, art is subjective and all that but 2 stars seem like "it should have been a good read but wasn't"

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

@DB_Rook This is oh so relatable, dear DB 😢 That said, right now I would settle for ANY reviews ‼️'LOL'

I really must begin writing Cute Cnut Part Deux ✍️📚2️⃣ Paolo tells me this is the road 🛣️ to success 🏆 Then again, he's a graphic designer 👨‍🎨 not a soon to be award winning author 🤷‍♀️

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

@DB_Rook Eek ❗ Spiders 🕸️🕷️‼️'LOL'

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

@DzintraSullivan I think we both know the reason why, dear Dzintra 🙄

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

@Pellington21 Darling, I've looked everywhere. Mainly in bars. Lassie is also on the case. I think I just need to be patient 👨‍⚕️🚑🩻

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

I wish I felt ready to write ✍️ Cute Cnut Part Deux but, alas 😢 it is not the time ⏲️ Ethel says I look 'lacklustre', which is hurtful and unhelpful ☹️ Myrna says I should have an affair 🍆🌊💦 This is tempting but also unhelpful. No. I must wait for the muse to strike ⚡

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

@DB_Rook This conjures an image in my mind's eye, which is my mind 🧠, not an actual eye 👁️, since that would be anatomically incorrect, of you as an action 🔫 hero 🦸‍♂️ in a bookish 📚 context. I hope you get to sell your book for 99p DB 🙏

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

@BenGalley Dearest Ben, I'm surprised erotically charged romantasy isn't on your list 📚💞 You're missing out 'LOL' ‼️

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

@DB_Rook @SpotlightIndie_ @TomBookbeard This is a huge relief 😮‍💨

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

@DB_Rook @BBNYA_Official Good luck yourself, DB 🍀 My own experience of competitions has been mixed, to say the least 'LOL' ‼️ Paolo tells me not to fret 😟 The judges clearly weren't my audience 👫👬👭 May you fare better than I 🫶 I hear your book about sex robots 🤖 is a masterpiece 👏

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

@DB_Rook The prospect sounds most enticing ‼️

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

@DB_Rook I live, quivering, for that day❗ Like a quivering thing, quivering with anticipation. At what's coming next. I feel you have romance in your bones 💀 In a romantic way, like me. Do you by any chance have Scottish 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 ancestry ❓

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

@Pellington21 You might just be onto something there, Penny❗'LOL'

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

Darlings 💞 I would love to say I have begun working on my next book 📚 Yet, alas, that would not be true 😢 Despite lots of ideas when I go on vigorous walks with Lassie 🐕 the artistic muse 🎨👨‍🎨 remains elusive 🔍 Perhaps I need a good holiday and a little sunshine first❓😎

[Karen McCompostine, Romantic Epic Fantasy Novelist @karenauthor1]

@GCDaveDobson Congratulations, dear David 🥳

[Kajornwan Chueng | Sienna Frost | Faye @Siennafrst]

POV:

You can buy a thousand books in your lifetime, and none of them will ever be tailored exactly to your needs unless you write it yourself.

That privilege is a priceless gift not everyone can have.

Do yourself a favor. Write the book only you can write. Write it for you.