ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ

Girl Mom. Dog Mom. Realtor. Wine Connoisseur.

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

It’s like my kids can smell me relaxing…..

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

@UberFacts Two things you are in total control of in life is your attitude and effort!

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

When I yell at my dog to stop barking, I wonder if he’s like, “This is awesome. Now we’re barking together!”

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

If one door closes and another one opens, your house is haunted. #realtorlife

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

I either give too many fucks or no fucks at all… It’s like I can’t find a middle ground for moderate fuck distribution. #sendhelp

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

Underestimate me… That’ll be fun.

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

Asking for a friend…..

Any husbands out there mad at their wives and want to sell her Peloton cheap? Cash and confidence is guaranteed.

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

You know you’re getting old when you need to enter your D.O.B on your phone and you got to spin it like your on the damn Wheel of Fortune. #oldaf

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

Forgiving someone who isn’t even sorry…. That’s strength.

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

Woke up pissed that I wasted actual money on ringtones.

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

Spilling coffee is the adult equivalent of losing your balloon. #fml #needmorecoffee #CoffeeTime #HappyFriday

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

Idk who needs to hear this but the new iPhone costs 15% of the average down payment needed on a $200k home, and it’s a lot harder to drop a house in a toilet. #freerealestateadvice #YourWelcome #YourLocalRealtor #AtYourService

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

I’m beginning to think I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my own kitchen.

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

If speaking kindly to plants helps them grow….

Imagine what speaking kindly to humans can do. #justbekind

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

Finally removed the decomposing pumpkins from the front porch, so my Christmas decorating is officially done!

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

Someone out there is holding their breath, waiting for you to fail….

Make sure they suffocate.

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

#NewProfilePic

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

Pretty sure raising girls makes you age in dog years… I’d say I look pretty good for 169. #momlife #raisinggirls

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

To the past, present and future men and women in uniform.. God bless you and thank you!! 🇺🇸

[ᴋ ᴀ ʀ ɪ s s ᴀ @karissamporter]

I’d much rather be the bitch they’re talking about than the miserable bitch doing all the talking.