I also noticed that I've never really believed that sharing my true feelings with those I care about is liberating. Whenever I managed to do it, I always felt naked and stressed afterward. However, if those people acknowledged and remembered that part of me at some point,
I did my best, and that was honestly everything I could do at that time. Good job dude. You were a fine, positive young lady. I hope at now time, i can be that positive again.
And since forever, my coping mechanism was always “pause” and this too shall pass. And then i chose like some special day for me to just really absorb and feel all of the emotions that i had paused before. Those days required a whole of tissues.
I just read my journal, and it makes me feel some type of way. Like now that i read it, i was such a positive young lady. After everything that i’ve been through, like it was never easy. And somehow i managed to stay sane, and like, wow i did great handling some things before.
i know its already january. but i dont want to move on from my magical december without saying anything about it. my birthday trip was dreamy. very out of touch from my usual reality. exactly what i need. if i have to sum it up, december was indeed magical and intense