Leaving a toxic workplace is a weird feeling… like you’re relieved you’ve finally left, but also annoyed that a perfectly good job has been unnecessarily ruined by a few people creating a horrible work culture.
The narcissist’s special skill is destroying good people.
They see a good person, happy, compassionate, honest, and they begin their attack. It’s a slow, persistent chipping away of a person.
They begin shaming that person.
They begin sewing seeds of doubt, trying to make that person second-guess themselves.
They start planting seeds of doubt in other people. Consistently eroding away their targets public image and self-esteem.
They abuse their target, talk bad about their target, shame their target for doing nothing wrong.
And what is their explanation? When people ask why they are doing this to their target, the narcissist says “they deserve it“. And that’s their excuse. And they are so adamant and aggressively bitter towards genuinely good, honest people, that witnesses think the target must’ve done something wrong, because why would anybody be so insanely and obsessively hateful towards an innocent person? And that’s what is so insane about it.
Just think about that. The hatred towards good a malignant narcissist has to go that far to destroy innocent people.
It’s evil. Evil incarnate.
Covert narcissists often engage in a very recognizable pattern of calculated abuse/behavior when they identify someone who triggers their envy, admiration, or insecurity. That person might be more talented, confident, kind, authentic, or simply not easy to manipulable. Here’s how the cycle tends to go:
TARGETING PHASE– The covert narcissist spots someone they feel they need to "win against," "own," or "bring down." It can be driven by envy, insecurity, or competition. They might even admire the person but hate how that admiration makes them feel "less than."
LOVE-BOMBING/ IDEALIZATION PHASE– They initiate contact and often overdo it with flattery, attention, or sympathy. Whether it's a romantic relationship, friendship, or even just a close coworker situation, they pursue the connection and act as if they’ve finally "found" a special connection.
INFORMATION GATHERING – They collect personal details, emotional vulnerabilities, past trauma, or anything that could later be used as ammunition. They’re not bonding — they’re profiling.
DEVALUATION – Once the target begins to disappoint them (often just by being human or having boundaries), the covert narcissist flips the switch. Their internal narrative becomes: “They think they’re better than me,” or “They don’t respect me,” even if that’s not true at all. This fuels resentment.
SMEAR CAMPAIGN – Instead of confronting issues directly or separating peacefully, they begin to trash the target behind their back. They’ll tell half-truths, twist facts, or outright lie to make their target look questionable or abusive.
CHARACTER ASSASSINATION – This often happens publicly or within shared social circles. It’s intended to isolate the target and destroy their credibility, all while the narcissist plays innocent or claims they’re the one being mistreated.
What’s especially sinister is that covert narcissists often work hard to create a solid public profile — so their smear campaigns are believed by many. Meanwhile, the person being targeted is often left confused, hurt, and possibly even socially isolated.
This is a form of relational stalking and psychological abuse. Seeing the pattern is powerful, because once you can predict it, you can protect yourself from getting pulled in.
Workplace bullying is not merely an isolated issue; it has far-reaching consequences that can disrupt the harmony of the victim's family & friends..
The damage extends beyond the individual, affecting their entire family and social life.
Workplace bullying is no joke.