kate mayer

[kate mayer @katemayer2001]

biggest lesson i've learned in college so far: don't steal chocolate milk from a frat house

[todd kraines @jelly3001]

Wig from goodwill: $3
Green concealer smeared on mouth: $5
Getting asked all night what the fuck I’m supposed to be: priceless

[Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan]

Her: Wow, you know all the right moves in bed. How's about a second go but this time lose the hat

Ratatouille hiding in my hair: Tell her your head is cold

[Matt. @MattTheBrand]

me: i don't want to get into another relationship right now

therapist: good

me: on the other hand if someone doesn't touch me soon i will perish

[Mating Season / Big Mouth @matingseasontv]

Get your PhD in Puberty.

October 4 on @netflix.

[Jake Bearden @beardenjake11]

“These edibles ain’t shit”

5 minutes later: