kate

lean mean green soybean.

[kate @kateprisun]

drew me but as an actual caprisun

[kate @kateprisun]

found out a guy at work only has one kidney.

can’t stop saying ‘it’s because you only have one kidney’ to every slight inconvenience he faces.

[kate @kateprisun]

why do I always need to fart at the top of the stairs at work

[kate @kateprisun]

today was the day (I was wearing an entirely green outfit from head to toe, including shoes)

[kate @kateprisun]

I pray for the day people don’t ask me to make teas and coffees for their meeting (it’s because I am a woman and one of the only people in the office that dresses smart casual) (I am ✨ nonthreatening ✨)

[kate @kateprisun]

Remember when currently the M11

[kate @kateprisun]

took this nice pic of my lunch but the cucumber has a different vibe

[kate @kateprisun]

me (has opened two new savings accounts within the last six months): i’m diversifying my portfolio

[kate @kateprisun]

Ok but hear me out again again again again again again again again again again: wotsits

[kate @kateprisun]

Ok but hear me out: plain Digestives

[kate @kateprisun]

Ok but hear me out again again again again again again again again again: milk but like, as a snack

[Mr. Mallard @distraughtduck]

pond was mid today

[kate @kateprisun]

@theelloRUBICON amogus

[Hadi @lolnvmtho]

When you write a work email so good that you go into Sent and admire your work:

[kate @kateprisun]

got too important at work 😔 have to work on something confidential 😔 can’t tell my colleague about it 😔

[kate @kateprisun]

(the other storm is arrested for federal crimes)

[kate @kateprisun]

my mother used to say… right after the storm, there’s the sun, then there’s another storm

[kate @kateprisun]

my mum is visiting for mother’s day and all she wants to do is go to the amusements and eat chips. precious woman don’t ever be mean about her.

[kate @kateprisun]

the other night my parents had one of the cars broken into and there was no damage and the thieves got away with a massive £2.40

[ＲＵＢＩＣＯＮ @theelloRUBICON]

"Would've" has done irreparable damage to the English language.

[kate @kateprisun]

@Sk_ylr yes!!!!

[kate @kateprisun]

picked new glasses yesterday and the man said they were very trendy and the latest fashion.

thanks king.

pretty sure he also gave me way too much money off of them. clearly because i’m so fashionable.

[ＲＵＢＩＣＯＮ @theelloRUBICON]

@kateprisun The "boy" in question