CynicalMarthaStewart

my dog is my life💛

[CynicalMarthaStewart @kathyd1990]

When I walk into my apartment

[CynicalMarthaStewart @kathyd1990]

So glad I have today all to myself so I can do nothing and not be judged 👌🏼

[CynicalMarthaStewart @kathyd1990]

If you're at wormtown, you prob smell bad and I prob hate you

[CynicalMarthaStewart @kathyd1990]

When clients show up an hour late for their apt and get pissed that you're not there waiting 😹

[CynicalMarthaStewart @kathyd1990]

@Chyloemarie I think she's bored with her life lol

[CynicalMarthaStewart @kathyd1990]

@Chyloemarie She's like a 80 year old lady and keeps coming to my door and waking me up on the weekends 🙄

[CynicalMarthaStewart @kathyd1990]

My landlord is so nosy

[CynicalMarthaStewart @kathyd1990]

Sorry to let you down, guys but women don't find excessive drinking to be attractive.

[CynicalMarthaStewart @kathyd1990]

I'm 26 and still need adults to periodically tell me I'm doing an ok job at life

[CynicalMarthaStewart @kathyd1990]

This cat needs to go. She just knocked over all my baby plants 😡😭

[CynicalMarthaStewart @kathyd1990]

It's so cool having a headache 24/7