Kat

if ur not a cow I’m not interested

[Kat @katiatonto]

@CadburyUK opened a brand new box of Heroes today and discovered this twirl that was completely sealed but completely EMPTY. This has ruined office morale as being essential workers we rely on the small things to get us through our day. Please explain.

[Kat @katiatonto]

Watching @RuPaulsDragRace has changed my life because I can’t see someone wearing red and yellow without thinking they’re trying to be @TheTinaBurner

[Camille Ucan @CamilleUcan]

Stop what you’re doing and watch This Morning for the next hour

[Kat @katiatonto]

I’m having real GCSE PE flashbacks

[Kat @katiatonto]

@davidattenburro hello quick question: do peacocks actually fly or is it just a long jump?

[sharon mitchells stunning weave @sharon_weave]

The 7th Friend from the group having to go home when you realise there’s more than 6 of you

[Gabby Logan @GabbyLogan]

Just to be clear, if you missed anything - we have to drink in the day while working at home.

[Dawn French 💙🔴🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦🇵🇸 @Dawn_French]

Her over there. Me over here. Doin somethin excitin for the future...

[Dawn French 💙🔴🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦🇵🇸 @Dawn_French]

Me n Fatty workin together all day. With multi breaks for cake & chips, obvs....

[The Independent @Independent]

'Stop being selfish': NHS doctor shows how masks do not affect breathing

[The Pin @thepincomedy]

be careful sharing the Zoom invite

[Kylie Brakeman @deadeyebrakeman]

why I won’t wear a mask

[Keir Starmer @Keir_Starmer]

Our care workers deserve better than this from the Prime Minister.

[Jemaine Clement @AJemaineClement]

Most people will be surprised.

[Jemaine Clement @AJemaineClement]

The guy who got covid after refusing to stop shaking hands.

[The Independent @Independent]

Our favourite lockdown TV hit, the Downing Street Daily Briefings, has been axed. Don’t panic – we’ll get a second series this autumn | Sean O'Grady https://t.co/1H7ZxgrgEC

[Susie Dent @susie_dent]

Two Latin words for a star or constellation: 'aster' and 'sidus'. They glimmer across English:
disaster: an ill-starred event.
asterisk: a little star.
astronaut: a star-sailor.
consider: to observe the stars.
desire: to wish upon a star.

[Kat @katiatonto]

I’m really glad that postmen don’t wait at the door anymore. Mid toilet trip bell-ringing doesn’t induce the same kind of panic