k*tie

bag of bags.

[mia @miakanaiko]

*trying to comfort ur nonbinary friend* there their

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

It's amazing how much you can accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over.

[Tori_ @Toribabieegirl]

Being “raised right” doesn’t mean you don't drink, party, and smoke. Being raised right is how you treat people, your manners and respect.

[Investing Addict @InvestingAddict]

I’m 27 and can’t wait to buy a house one day.

[𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐲'𝐨𝐟'𝐆𝐨𝐝💦 @Champagnediet1]

“Men are natural leaders” until it’s time to plan dates or do chores and then it’s just “tell me what you want, make me a list, tell me what you need me to do”
Hm

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

Unfortunately the little “during the week stop” at the grocery store that isn’t even the main grocery shopping trip now costs $170.

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

Taylor Farms’ CEO eating the lettuce to prove it’s safe

[alain🏒 @penaltyk1ll]

every time I think I understand soccer they add twenty minutes to the clock and I’m too afraid to ask why

[Errai @errai]

Oh man I (washes hands) love cooking so much (washes hands) and it’s so easy to (washes hands) make anything you want

[Mary @mxryboo]

found my future husband

[𝔇𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔲𝔰 𝔈𝔤𝔤 @castingahex]

you can just say "okay" when someone tells you to do something and not do it. i learned that from men

[bophie @sophiabophia47]

It’s 100 degrees, everything is AI, my fruit gives me diarrhea, the air is unbreathable, and weed is still illegal

[draLly 🐾 @_NYVKU7]

i'll have $22 after i pay rent that means $20 for weed and $2 for baja blast this budgeting shit easy

[xMoosex @xastupidx]

just booked a vasectomy and they scheduled me in for 9/11 they really snippin my tower twin

[Kattoo King @SimplyKattoo]

The alcohol in a martini should be enough to kill the parasite in my ceasar salad, and then I'll pair it with fries, which are safe

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

The literacy crisis isn’t that people can’t read the words. It’s that they can’t understand the context, infer meaning, recognise nuance, identify contradictions, or draw logical conclusions from what they’ve read.

[Dr. Lucky Tran @luckytran]

In capitalist America, Taco Bell is our CDC and Waffle House is our weather alert system.

[P @theogpooh]

We in a dookiedemic and I don’t see toilet paper flying off the shelves like during Covid???

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

“There's an AI tool for that.”

Okay, so???? There's probably an Ed Sheeran song for it too. I honestly don't give a fuck.