kati pérez

i hate this season of Earth. they need to re-hire the writers they fired | she/they

[not the band @momjeansss_]

Asked my dad and uncle why they weren’t chatting and my uncle goes “we’re done chatting for today” and my dad nods and they continue watching tv in silence

[abby govindan @abbygov]

people ask if I do an Indian accent for my parents in stand up and the answer is no. Racism aside my parents accent is the least funny thing about them. One time when I was crying in public, my mom said “can u please stop sobbing people are gonna think we’re human trafficking u”

[jodie @jodieegrace]

the tinder swindler is so wild to me because if any man told me “my enemies are after me I need $25k” I would be like damn that’s crazy, good luck though

[ella @mytranquility_]

gf that never finishes her food
🤝
bf who eats literally anything

[Robert Schultz @_RobertSchultz]

people will go to great lengths to not admit they’re dating someone stupid, like my friend just said her boyfriend is “quirky” because he gets “confused when restaurant menus have a lot of words” and it’s like, ma’am, are you saying HE CANNOT READ???

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

Keanu Reeves has been like four different handsomes in our lifetime and I think that’s swell!

[Dr. Neighborhood Publicist @nhoodpublicist]

I’ve never seen the internet mount up like voltron to clown a person. He getting killed on TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, IG and YouTube 😭😭😭😭

[brett montana @justbrad]

I miss COVID summer 2020 because people would be like “hey want to drink wine in the park?” Now it’s “hey want to go spend $200 on dinner and drinks and not be in nature?”

[SIE @_badassiee]

My love language is all of them, do everything

[TEKZILLA @SpydaTEK]

LimeWire (2006)

[JennyPentland, GED @JennyPentland]

My 11yo just screamed across the skatepark “MOM! DID YOU EVER GET OUR HEALTH INSURANCE REINSTATED? I WANNA DO A TRICK!”

[ً @shadyasashade]

Brittany Murphy photographed by David LaChapelle for Flaunt Magazine (2000)

[SpongeBob @SpongeBob]

SpongeBob DocuPants is the show you didn't know you needed https://t.co/zllLmrCBba @amazon

[C. ♡ @_chabedoll]

That 1:59 to 3:00 was aggressive