rikai

insert witty comment here

[rikai @katwidan]

50%. Mass delusion.

Dunning-Kruger.

Intolerant Prejudice.

A farce. The audacity.

[rikai @katwidan]

If I was so selfish, self-centered as the way you wanted to paint me, then I would've not felt so much pain.

But you people, slinging insults and doubts for you is effortless and wholly justified. There's no remorse. No guilt. No shame.

That just means you can't love others.

[rikai @katwidan]

could use some muscleheads in my life as well

[rikai @katwidan]

yeah, they sounded cool at the time, but now it's just pure cringe

[rikai @katwidan]

anyway

[rikai @katwidan]

always cat and mouse. sigh. not cute at all.

[rikai @katwidan]

I'm afraid, I may have jinxed myself.

Damn it.

Hey.

No, I don't want to--

Damn it.

Damn it all.

Stop.

Stop entering my mind.

Damn it.

You're such an idiot.

I'm an idiot.

I'm a massive idiot.

But I don't hate it.

You can't improve if you don't acknowledge your flaws.

[rikai @katwidan]

Because I never regret the fact I gave others my heart.

Only lamented how much I could've spent that energy towards people more deserving, is all.

I don't regret the memories of you.

I regret having not made them with someone more compatible.

[rikai @katwidan]

But you know, I feel most alive when I'm worried about somebody else.

That's not a bad thing.

You don't often meet someone who,

loves another more than themself,

in a healthy self-aware way? Okay, you can argue that, but

Someone who will do anything for you, unconditionally.

[rikai @katwidan]

I'M A FOOL. OKAY. I HAVE THIS HABIT OF, LIKE, PUSHING MYSELF TOO FAR, OKAY, BURDENING MYSELF TOO MUCH, OKAY OKAY, AND LIKE, FEELING PERSONALLY ACCOUNTABLE FOR EVERYTHING I'M A PART OF, EVEN IN RELATIONSHIPS OR WORK, OKAY OKAY OKAY. I'M SUCH A FOOL. REALLY, A HUGE FOOL.

[rikai @katwidan]

you'd think fated meetings ought to leave a lasting impression

sure it did

twice

with the same person

that really made me feel bad

to say the least

but maybe, 3rd, 5th, 7th time's the charm!

I used to think that way

damn it all.

oi, be well out there.

[rikai @katwidan]

in the end, after everything that has happened, I'm quite comfortable to be in my own skin.

that's why,

damn.

[rikai @katwidan]

lopsided and misshapen, but beautiful for what it is the same.

if your insecurity and perfectionism cannot take a handle on it, would satisfaction even be possible for someone like you?

[rikai @katwidan]

if you believe everything's possible then you sorta kinda end up doing all matter of things that seems impossible

[rikai @katwidan]

"I love you."

"I love you too."

And with that, years of unbearable insecurity and desperate pleas for approval and validation vanishes.

Because I do not have to meet the standards of one sole person alone.

This long holiday ends now.

Time for the next adventure!

[rikai @katwidan]

I've realized something. And it's very a powerful one too.

Damn. Just when I'm about to take a plunge.

Those words no longer cloud my judgment.

I'm wholly prepared to start looking forward to the future.

Vestiges of the past limit your view.

The world is beautiful and vast.

[rikai @katwidan]

I gave you my better half. You distrusted it, tore it to shreds. What part of that do you not understand, how much that hurt me? My heart broke, and I wish it never yearned for any affection at all. And I can't even be vengeful nor self-righteous. This sucks. Damn it all.

[rikai @katwidan]

so weak willed

[rikai @katwidan]

So you'd rather suffer and whine than do anything about it? Count me out of that! I'm not insane by any means.