Kayla Evans

BNA✈️PDX Stand up comedian, Superhero, Bad Dancer

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

Yeah….I’m moving to Threads… https://t.co/jRvTRhEmKs

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

My insurance company got audited and I ended up getting some money back because I overplayed several years ago. I won 4th of July.

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

I strive to have little old sassy grandma energy

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

I know I’ve been doing comedy in Portland for too long because I’ve effortlessly and carelessly been burning the light everywhere.

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

I’m at the age where I quit asking people how old they think I am because I don’t like the answers

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

@ChadRiden @NashvilleComedy Both the kitty and the gun were very fake

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

Open mics be rough sometimes

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

Ever get home and realize your hair wasn’t parted the way you wanted it to be all night

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

Most men who hate “man hating” jokes today are the same men who loved “woman hating/I hate my wife” jokes for decades. It be our turn now 🤷‍♀️

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

I started taking deep breaths again when I’m feeling on edge. It’s about to be over for you bitches.

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

When the crowd laughs at your reaction to bombing instead of the jokes you wrote and practiced 🙃

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

Every guy in Texas is jealous of mosquitos, because mosquitos actually have a chance to eat my ass and they don’t

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

If you want to know what it’s like doing comedy for over five years, just imagine having the confidence that you can make it and then also feeling like you’ll never make it multiple times a day all the time

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

I stopped myself from drunk posting three times on my close friends Instagram story tonight. Please congratulate me on my progress.

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

@realaaronweber @HeliumComedyPdx needs to book @realaaronweber ASAP

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

I’ve been doing comedy 7 years, and I don’t even have a little bit of a clue why producers decide to book the comedians they do. It’ll always be a mystery.

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

Has anyone actually found a cure for razor bumps yet? Besides not shaving?

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

Do you think there are vegans who aren’t passionate about animals necessarily but fucking hate plants?!

[Kayla Evans @kaylaevanscom]

I think life has been like baking. The instructions we were given aren’t completely accurate.

[becca @TamingofdeSchuh]

nice career you’ve got there.....would be a shame if you ruined it yourself through repeated trauma manipulation and abuse of power on people you mistakenly assumed would never speak up