kayla protze

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

in the sitcom god has dubbed my life, I had just gotten picked out of the sea of people at Trader Joe’s for a worker to show me their favorite trader joe picks whilst I had just finished sobbing in my car and entered with ruined mascara and just shakily agreeing about muffins

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

@WellsFargo you are singlehandedly responsible for my villain origin story, after getting scammed with clear evidence of fraud you close my claim and refuse to return 2k to me from my savings that’s CHUMP CHANGE TO A CORPORATE CONGLOMERATE LIKE YOU. #dontbankwithwellsfargo

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

@audball400 My grandpa self didn’t check Twitter till now 😂 thank you my love!! Can’t wait to fucking TEAR up the local bar with you soon

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

@TheScottKraft Wow ... you just think all bald people look the same HUH?? The DISRESPECT. Aang would have YOUR NECK for such SLANDER .

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

Me, literally lounging and enjoying my Amy’s veggie chili: ....

My brain, refusing to produce any sort of serotonin: ya’know chili is primarily spicy spagetthi sauce soup, it’s like eating nothing but RAGÚ

Me: *visibly shaken :scared, uncomfortable, sad* ..wtf

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

@lily_kry *spits out entire mouthful of 0ho*

[Apple Dumplin @Sami_Eliza1]

issues with e-cigs and vapes are being banned and given so much attention bc they mostly affect middle/upper class (white) people. us opioid crisis has been raging for years with literally nothing done, aids epidemic killing thousands and theres nothing

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

@TheScottKraft Shut up grandpa

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

Wonder how many people are gonna ask me why I have a sentient lemon on my leg

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

@totheshark THANK YOU YOU ARE TOO KIND 💕💕

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

@Tobinmaya YES BOO

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

@autamasy I BETTER BE

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

@autamasy

[freindly ghost @smollcas]

My mom: join a sorority! You will meet awesome people!

Sororities:

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

@fiercelysmall You did me so dirty but this literally how I was/am when someone forgets the blocking I just spent an hour teaching them

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

This picture is prophetic on the fate of my grade in my makeup class

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

@NeilsonPahe DONT SAY THAT ILL MARRY YOU ON SIGHT BRO

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

Me when I see myself after about three hours of staring in the mirror and drawing a self portrait for class WHILE BRAIN DETERIORATES as I point out every flaw:

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

@NeilsonPahe ILL BE YOUR WEIGHTED BLANKET ;)))))

[kayla protze @kayprotze]

@Tobinmaya @closedapp @kstrempka Wow suck a lemon IM FORGOTTEN