Kalen Black

[Kalen Black @kayqbee]

@juliusha36 Only when I think of something that only works as a tweet 😂

[Kalen Black @kayqbee]

Sorry my hair smells like smoke, I went to a campfire 4 months ago.

[Kalen Black @kayqbee]

I have determined that I need to get married because I have recently reached the “I can’t open a single jar in my house” phase of my life

[Kalen Black @kayqbee]

@FBanders @goslingtrain Excuse me he actually rhymes face/waste, hold/soul, chase/waste, hold/soul, never question him unless we are talking about the Departure era which is mostly just embarrassing for us all

[Kalen Black @kayqbee]

@chrisbharrison haven’t seen you all episode, you okay?

[Kalen Black @kayqbee]

Parachute has done it again 👏🏼 new song "Had It All" is out NOW and it's a JAM.

Check it out here: https://t.co/4ibX3Ftylg

[Parachute @parachute]

Last week, we sent 'Young" to some longtime Parachute fans. Here's what they said about it after that first listen.

Want your own preview? Text YOUNGPREVIEW to 555888 to hear a clip.

[Kalen Black @kayqbee]

Okay listen @Sodalicious I need you to put a location in the Salt Lake airport because I can’t take liquids through security but how the heck am I supposed to travel without an AK extra dirty???

[Kalen Black @kayqbee]

“I saw it on Facebook or Instagram or wherever kids see memes or whatever these days.” - my little sister. She’s 21. 21 going on 90 apparently.

[just not anne @MorgaMoulta]

*Watching The Polar Express*

Santa Claus: "The first gift, of CHRISTMAAAAS"
*Holds up avocado*

All the elves: "Thaaaaanks"

[Kalen Black @kayqbee]

Me (home alone): *locks bathroom door when I shower in case a thief breaks in*

Thief: *breaks in through either locked front door or garage* “oh no, I cannot possibly get through this bathroom door how clever of her to lock it”

[Kalen Black @kayqbee]

“REPRESENTATIVE you stupid computer wench” - my dad trying to call insurance

[Kalen Black @kayqbee]

@fireblastdaniel Literally you when we made you go to a football game 😂

[⛓🦂⛓ @babymetalllll]

in October the mitochondria turns into the frightochondria & becomes the haunted house of the cell

[Mrs. Grotke @__BHB__]

My therapist told me that anxious people have tendency to only explore the scary “what ifs” and challenged me to remember that there is also a flip side. What if you excel? What if it is one of the best experiences of your life? What if it changes you in a beautiful way?

[Sodalicious @Sodalicious]

HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY!!!! We wouldn’t be where we are without any of you or any of our incredible staff! We have laughed, cried, celebrated, met our significant others, made it through a hard day and much more through the drive-thru alone. We love you SodaFam! Here’s to five more!

[Latter-day Saint Quotes @LDSquotable]

"Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal."

[Latter-day Saint Quotes @LDSquotable]

“Look to the positive. Know that He is watching over you, that He hears your prayers and will answer them, that He loves you and will make that love manifest.” -Gordon B. Hinckley

[Kalen Black @kayqbee]

Sometimes when I’m feeling down, I just take a step back and remember that Kanye released a song whose lyrics just say “Poopidy scoop. Scoop diddy whoop. Whoop di scoop di poop.”

[Kalen Black @kayqbee]

@fireblastdaniel Never give in to that