gertrude.

you wouldn’t like me

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

Dudes love to crash out over being disrespected while having zero respectable qualities

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

I’m not saying it’s realistic for @craigowens to have me as his plus one for @chiodos in Indy next Saturday, but it’s healthy to dream while the world burns.

[David Leavitt 🎲🎮🧙‍♂️🌈 @DavidLeavitt]

Nothing is more American than banning TikTok before AR-15s

[BWAAP @enocbwaap]

how it feels coming back to twitter cause tiktok is banned and all the other apps aren’t as funny

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

Don’t bite the hand that feeds ya or you’re gonna get CHOMPED

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

I might be the villain in your story but you’re a chicken fried bitch in mine

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

@clarabowpez I shouldn’t have clicked on this thread. It’s going to give me a stroke.

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

Twice now I thought a dude ghosted me but he was actually just in jail 😅 my taste is impeccable

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

No one is ever unhinged at the same time as me and it’s boring being a menace all by myself

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

@doaenel This is satire, right? Say I’m right. 😂

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

None of my boyfriends are acting obsessed with me and if yall know each other then just say that

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

@MilesQuiroz I do if someone is the vibe, but they rarely understand and it’s so so disappointing. Miss you. ♥️

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

Twitter used to be fun, now (x) is just a constant reminder of how much I wish the aliens would…

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

No humanity Caroline is honestly so much more entertaining

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

So zero experience in education… got it

[Senator Todd Young @SenToddYoung]

Congrats to Linda McMahon, President Trump's accomplished nominee to serve as Secretary of Education.

Linda built a world-class business and served with distinction while overseeing America's Small Business Administration. I am grateful to Linda for answering the call of duty once again, and I look forward to supporting her critical work in the coming years.

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

@SheRecvdUrMsg23 Yall are mad weird

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

One of my favorite things about being a bartender is hearing “how bout them Hoosiers” at least 96 times a day

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

Hate it when my side bitch starts acting up

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

My grandma called me at work to tell me she was going to Oktoberfest… why is she cooler than me?

[gertrude. @kaysshaa]

Don’t do this