kibe🇰🇪

Mungu mbele siku zote🙏...
Gunner for Life...

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Has anyone else noticed how agressive these women in kinyozis get when you say no after they ask you if you want to do facials? Jana nimesema No wakaniangusia ile kitambaa moto kwa uso bwana. For the first time in 16yrs I felt my tears Mobilizing come out. Karibu akule roundkick

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

I have closed today with only 240 shillings between me and poverty. 240! Sasa naimagine kama ile kamrembo kanaitwa eve kangeniitikia,ndoa unajua haingemalisa mwaka aki. Mtoto wa kibabi unapea yeye kabej siku mbili anapata allergy bwana,mtoto amezoea sosej na brocolli, na ile pancake haiwekangwi mafuta inaitwa nun bread. Hiyo vitu yote huwesi pata na chini ya elfu mbili. Ningeumia sana aisee. Alafu ujue watoto wa kitajiri hawakosangi kaugonjwa moja expensive. Na akigonjeka tena upeleki yeye kenyatta,ni Agha khan,pale per night ukikua admitted ni 50 sausand. Mama yangu!

Saai ingine mungu anakunyimanga vitu umeitisha juu anajua huwesani. Mimi sahii wacha niendelee kuskuma mwaka na hii caincedo yangu. Hawa ata mnawesa rarua boflo na avocado supper na hawashtuki,bora amemeza kitu. Hawa ata hawagonjekangi. Sufuria wanasugua namna atari sana.

Mimi pesa ikirudi nitawesa kasirika nichukue caincedo yangu moja nipeleke Turkey,wanitengenesee tu msuuri, atoke kama eve maina,Soko naye haitawahi niona tena aki. Eih! Dj chesa I have nothing by whitney houston,na usiweke chiki chiki

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Mshahara iliingia juzi, all bills paid, upkeep sorted, Mutoka Iko full tank, I'm singoo... Sasa ni kuvuruta tu beer mbili baridi as I watch arsenal game nikingoja kakuku nusu kamalizwe kutayarishwa. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember his poor pipoos in that thing called Mareej.😌

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Cha muhimu vijana ni mjiaminie. You must ensure that you believe in what you want,and know what ground you stand on. Otherwise hapa nje uta tangatanga sana. You will struggle so much trying to fit into shoes people think and suggested you should wear. And this applies everywhere even in business,people are always going to have different opinions on what you should do. Its upto you decide what direction to look. Na ata ukienda huko wanasema huwa utapata wengine huko wanakwambia wanaona unaenda vibaya.

Mimi unajua nyumbani baada ya kuokota alama ya Daudi ongesa,almaarufu D+, waliniita wakaniambia ati niingie nursing. Nyanya yangu naye akasema nijaribu KDF juu niko mrefu. Nikapiga hesabu nikaona mimi nivae uniform primary,highschool alafu kazi pia ni uniform? Nikasema hiyo upii sitaki. Na Hivo ndio nilijipata nausia nyinyi CCTV,na imejipa kweli kama huyu ni mimi nimepanda lift nikiingia kwa nyumba. KDF ningepandia lift wapi? Pale sini kuhepa magrenade kismayu mkininyoroshea bibi Mwiki. Woi! Vijana nataka tujiaminie aki

[Alpha Futures @Alpha_Futures_]

We’ve picked a number between 1 and 100 👀

Guess it correctly and you could win a $50,000 ZERO account 💰

🎯 3 winners. 1 number. $150,000 in accounts are up for grabs.

Drop your guess below 👇

⏰ Entries close Friday.

[kibe🇰🇪 @kb_empire1]

@Alpha_Futures_ Must be number 31

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Sponyo spent his 65th birthday at his Gicheha farm in Nakuru. Remember sometime last year when Aoko told us that he was already in ICU, making a reservation at Paradiso State Lodge along Sayuni Lane, and that his mother, Mama Ngina was wailing uncontrollably, refusing to switch off the machines keeping him alive? Eeeeii, that woman was too much kiawa! May the good Lord keep Muthamaki for many more years and bless him with good health.

[Rigathi Gachagua @rigathi]

Welcome to Wamunyoro residence my cousins from Linda Mwananchi.

When we come together great things Must happen.

[kibe🇰🇪 @kb_empire1]

@Rav_KE Rt cc

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Who has drunk buffalo milk anyway? Kenyan buffalo. Watu ya Tutam wanafaa wakamate moja wakunywe iyo maziwa tuone,since they believe in their presidents vision. Kuna moja huwa inazurura juja inaitwa Bookten,start with that one

[Timothy Turunga @timothyturunga]

KTN aired the formidable political force of Rigathi Gachagua and Sifuna, and it clearly did not sit well with the moles.

They hurriedly crawled out of their holes and started creating AI-generated graphics featuring the duos they believe would be best suited to compete.

It was KTN that aired the combination! We have not even started drumming up support for who RiggyG should team up with, and already the moles are having stomach spasms.

Imagine the panic before the actual political game has even begun!

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Kitu sasa inaniuma sana baada ya kuhamia kikuyu. Ni Pale sasa nilihamia kwa apartmet iko na lift kila mtu ako na parking mbili. Lakini bado kuna watu bado wanasema haitoshi. Kama huyu jirani yangu ako na land rover na forester,na bibi yake ako na Cx5, Sasa mimi juu sina gari,imebidi nimepatia wao parking moja,juu ningekataa wangejua naskia wivu. Sasa hii parking ingine imebaki yangu,hapo ndio huwa naenda naweka kiti yangu ya plastic saturday. tunaota jua pamoja na hawa househelps wa uganda. Woi! Si mnunue CCTV jameni angalau ata niweke kitu kwa parking bwana,ata kama ni kanissan Note. Ama nirudi mwiki nipigangwe ngeta kila Wiki na waburundi. Eih! Khabusie!

[GEN Z Baddie🫧 @genz___baddie]

Naskia kuna mtu anasema aty tunakunywa pombe ziko na majina mbili mbili😂😂kwani anointing oil haina majina mbili, si ata yeye akunywe😂😂🚶🏽‍♀️
#RUTOMUSTGO

[Sholla Ard 🇰🇪 @sholard_mancity]

BREAKING: Uhuru Kenyatta says, “Making a mistake is normal, but repeating a mistake is the mistake.”

That line will hit differently in 2027.

Voting for William Ruto was a mistake, If we repeat it will be worse . Ruto must go.

[Kate 💦😍 @MissLingard14]

Business X, What are you selling today?

[kibe🇰🇪 @kb_empire1]

@MissLingard14 Ex-japan auto spares....
Holla at 0113858775....

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

If that is Chivayo a foreigner that kenyans are celebrating his demise like that,simply because he was associated with Ruto,now imagine what will happen when Grand theft Ruto himself dies. Some of us will not sleep,because of excitement. Especially on the day of body viewing we will be there very early! As early as 3am so that we dont get locked out. We will be there not to mourn him,but to make sure he is dead. Na wakisema ni kuview once ukipita mbio kama kule Bondo,itabidi nirudi round kama kumi

Round Ya mwisho ata naweza jifanya nimeteguka niangukie geneza. Kumbe niko na matoothpic nimeficha kwa vidole,niingise yote kwa kifua ya marehemu rais. Ni kuhakikisha ameenda kweli. Sababu unajua Luto ni mkora sana, anaweza kua amelala hapo tukimaliza kumuona aingie gari aende kilgoris,akule pesa yote ametuibia. We cannot risk that. Kwaivo ni lasma tudunge yeye,kama hajakufa tunamalisia yeye pale. Saitan amefufuka,mob justice pap!

Bwana our day is coming, we will eat with a very big spoon as a country.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

In front of you is Trevor Ombija. Remove the official suits and kizungu mingi, and you might easily mistake him for an employee of HEHA Movers handling logistics. This guy was bright, composed and mature when he was a journalist at Royal Media Services. All was well until he crossed the Rubicon into politics.

Nowadays his bass has entered campaign mode, throwing political words around like mare kwa mare guys. His latest remarks accusing Gachagua of trying to get him fired has landed him into hot soup. A man who once interviewed politicians about integrity issues is now discovering that politics comes with its own liability of Selective Memory.

Trevor appears to have discovered the oldest shortcut in Kenyan politics,, if you don't have enough manifesto, find a political enemy and make him your manifesto. For Luo Nyanza, Gachagua has become the unpaid campaign manager.

Kenyan politicians have mastered the formula of tribalism. In Luo Nyanza, you don't even need a page of development plan. Just enter the rally, grab the microphone and shout Gachagua or Ohuru, you will win with a landslide.

In order to get elected in Broadbased regions, you just accuse Gachagua of anything... just anything. That's the manifesto. Same case applied when Raila was an opposition leader, he was a manifesto for Murima aspirants.

The funniest part is that after all this political gymnastics, the same politicians will return to Nairobi and announce that they are marginalized. In Luo Nyanza, the manifesto is not what you will do for the people, but who you will blame for everything.

That's why you find a lady like Alionya blaming Kamau who operates a hardware for the shortage of milk in Kenya,, bcoz she was made to believe that all their problems started with Okuyo's existence. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember the poor pipoos of Nyakach. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

[Edwin Sifuna @edwinsifuna]

Bwana there is just fear everywhere…but a bold new generation must rise up and reclaim their country. This is why we continue to preach the values in the preamble of our Constitution, most importantly, freedom. I thank the Governor, Students Association Karen Campus, Graham Mboya, for the invitation. I’ll be returning the courtesy by inviting you and your fellow students to the Senate tukitoka mashinani so that the conversation can continue. God bless!

[Hexha Edge™ @HexhaEdge]

NFP isiwahii kuchanganya tena, iko hivi kama kuna less jobs added that's a signal of a weak economy which means Fed waneza kuwa forced kulower interest rates Ndio ikuwe rahisi watu kuomba doh thus dollars zitajaa kwa circulation which in turn weakens the USD. So Gold BULLISH, NQ BULLISH. EURUSD BULLISH