Keith DeCoons

I try to be funny with 32% accuracy but who’s counting?

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

The Plaza Hotel has lost one of its finest General Managers. @IncredibleCulk RIP Mr. Curry

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

@BklynNavyYard can we not do these outdoor parties anymore? The amount of trash that it brings to flushing and beyond is atrocious. Let’s live by your message and work for a better tomorrow.

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

Public apology to the @goosetheband - maybe a year or so, I compared the band to an ice cream truck saying it was cool when it was there but otherwise you don’t think about it. Man, I was so wrong. I’m craving a chipwich. But maybe, just maybe, it’s Goose.

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

Not having @Yellowcard perform the World Cup finale feels like a blown opportunity. @FIFAWorldCup

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

Happy Easter @treyanastasio

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

@PATHTrain @StephaniePreko2 Does the date and time matter when it looks like that? 😂😂😂

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

Breaking: The @Mets will not pay $100k to @ChrisisSingin for the missed line. Instead, he will need to settle for $96,000. @Lin_Manuel

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

@JohnMayer how does one go about procuring a Chaplin recording studios jacket?!? 👊🏻🙏🏻

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

@StevenACohen2 congrats!!! Can we get a poker room? Asking for a friend ;)

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

@markwahlberg let’s make it happen!!

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

@alyankovic we should collaborate on “I miss my old tailor” @taylorswift13

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

@RobertIger you’re softer than the dole
Whip you serve. Come on man. You’re so much better than this.

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

I accept the @treyanastasio jamrock jerk challenge.

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

@BillyStrings our 6 year old loves listening to “seven weeks in county” but insists on singing “seven kids and counting”. 🤷‍♂️

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

@treyanastasio thanks for listening!!

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

#Diddy be like “well the sun don’t shine forever.”

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

Not sure if it’s too late to submit a name but I’m going to submit the Utah-ta’s. @NHL @espn

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

Thank you @phish!!!

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

@treyanastasio please please please release the ambient music throughout the sphere. Using the restroom has never been more enjoyable!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[Keith DeCoons @kdecoons]

Traffic jam. @phish