Keaton Goedert

[Brett Pike @ClassicLearner]

JUST IN: the Fed announces you just received a pay cut at work.

[Alex Feinberg @Alexfeinberg]

If your choice for babysitter was an experienced but retarded woman, an experienced arsonist, or an inexperienced person who was not retarded, who would you pick?

This is the LA mayor race

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

Activist: "Your cows are putting carbon into the atmosphere."

Farmer: "Where did they get it?"

Activist: "What?"

Farmer: "The carbon. Where did the cow get it before it put it anywhere."

Activist: "From... eating?"

Farmer: "From eating grass. And where did the grass get it."

Activist: "The soil?"

Farmer: "The air. The grass pulled it out of the air last spring. The cow ate the grass. The cow breathed some of it back out. It went back into the air it came from."

Activist: "But it's still going into the atmosphere."

Farmer: "It's going back. There's a difference between a thing going somewhere and a thing going back. You've described a circle and you're frightened of it."

Activist: "Then just don't have the cow."

Farmer: "The grass still dies in autumn. It rots where it falls. The carbon goes back into the air either way, just without anyone getting fed in the middle."

Activist: "It's not that simple."

Farmer: "It's grass, cow, breath, grass. Or it's grass, rot, air, grass. Same circle, fewer dinners. If that's complicated for you I'd stay away from the water cycle. That one's got clouds in it."

[Eric Daugherty @EricLDaugh]

🔥 CLARENCE THOMAS IS THE ABSOLUTE GOAT!

"I'd rather die than withdraw. If they're gonna kill me, they're gonna kill me."

Q: So you'd still like to serve on the Supreme Court?

THOMAS: "I'd rather die than withdraw from the process. Not for the purpose of serving on the Supreme Court, but for the purpose of not being driven out of this process."

"I will not be scared. I don't like bullies. I've never run from bullies. I never cry uncle, and I'm not gonna cry uncle today whether I want to be on the Supreme Court or not."'

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

h/t @DanScavino

[Space Ape @EatDaBugs]

🚨 THOMAS MASSIE just said what MILLIONS are thinking out loud:

"When I endorsed him, I thought we wouldn't have a new war."

"I thought we would get warrants for FISA."

"I thought that MAHA would be front and center at HHS with Bobby Kennedy there."

"I thought we would end our involvement in the war in Ukraine."

"I thought we would release all the Epstein files and indict some of those SOBs."

"Those are all the things I'm still fighting for."

The ONLY guy in DC who actually MEANT it.

No new wars. Audit the spies. Release the files.

Don't tread on Massie. 🦍 🟧

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

Hudson got his first turkey yesterday! I’m a proud dad!

[Thomas Massie @RepThomasMassie]

Congratulations AG Blanche. Now you have 30 days to release the rest of the files before becoming criminally liable for failure to comply with the Epstein Files Transparency Act.

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

One more, different ball this time. Help me identify it @CardPurchaser?

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

@CardPurchaser Can someone please help identify signatures on this ball I bought at an estate auction?

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

@alanbarcoff @CardPurchaser Very cool

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

@HummBaby55 @CardPurchaser Thanks!

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

@ChrisPerezMLB54 @CardPurchaser Thank you!

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

@alanbarcoff @CardPurchaser Thank you!

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

@broncobilly_7 @CardPurchaser Thanks!

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

@Capn_Spalding @CardPurchaser Thank you!

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

@CharmCityGraphs @CardPurchaser Thank you!

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

@CardPurchaser And one more side from this ball. Thanks in advance for any help!

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

Same ball, different side.

@CardPurchaser help me out with identification?

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

@arm7219 @CardPurchaser Thank you!

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

@aycock1926 @CardPurchaser Thank you. I’m not seeing the Smoltz though.

[Keaton Goedert @keatonlg]

@pisscalmer @CardPurchaser What a pleasant surprise! Thank you!