Kandace Calvert

witty banter. that's all i have to offer.

[Josh @FLITTER]

can’t stop thinking about this horizontally cut bread

[Cuntney Kardashian @cuntneykardash]

LuAnn was at her WORST season 4 😻 she knew DAMN well that Ramona wouldn’t be able to pronounce the name of the place her wine was being produced. #RHONY

[Kandace Calvert @kebelk]

BREAKING: Americans begging celebrities to stop positing videos of themselves singing “Imagine” by John Lennon

[garnachos vacation braids @goldenjediii]

Can you imagine going back to the FIRST time you heard KIDS by MGMT? It’s like giving a dorito to someone back in medieval times

[ice queen @moonemojii]

viruses looking at your Bath & Body works hand sanitizer made of 10% alcohol and 90% glitter

[ceejay @_chelseajade]

when it was your friend’s birthday and they chose you to help them hand out the cupcakes in class https://t.co/GNC4YnGb1K

[dodie (uses insta mostly) @doddleoddle]

Cats, 2019

[Kandace Calvert @kebelk]

@lelandgraeber @ashCpage Do you need me to wipe away your tears now Leland?

[Kandace Calvert @kebelk]

Woman on my flight asked if we were flying over the ocean. It was a lake in Texas... 🤠

[Kandace Calvert @kebelk]

For reference @lelandgraeber

[Cortez @Cortezgolfs]

It’s spooky szn out here, be careful

[Kandace Calvert @kebelk]

Whoever is watching Masked Singer on my Hulu account please expose yourself so I can properly heckle you

[jesus the dead rat❄️ @shrimpfriedsyd]

This looks like a theatre kid party