Keegan S.

Came here thinking there would be snacks. There aren't snacks. Can't find the exit. Oh god it's happening again

[Keegan S. @KeeganSnyder4]

@donutmedia can we get a video about the Honda Fit? There's a weird, cult-like following from these jabronis

[Keegan S. @KeeganSnyder4]

I'm so frustrated with rental companies advertising their rehabbed "model units" then walking you through an apartment that hasn't been updated since the cold war.

I won't tolerate being flat-fished

[Ryan Cohen @ryancohen]

That left for dead retailer just launched something new 😳

[Keegan S. @KeeganSnyder4]

Tbh I felt a lot cuter wearing a mask 24/7

[Keegan S. @KeeganSnyder4]

@thisisintrents I've said all I need to say

[Keegan S. @KeeganSnyder4]

Want to leave work early?
Shit your pants.

If you're not willing to shit your pants to get out of work, then you don't want it bad enough

[byron (b.) @bbyron]

So happy to be able to properly interact with all you apes + apettes now🦾🔥

I have to say, you all are some of the friendliest and funniest people I’ve had the pleasure of interacting with and I consider you all family

#Loopring💙 x #GameStop💎

We’re just getting started💙

[Ryan Cohen @ryancohen]

I put my money where my mouth is

[Ben Wehrman @benwehrman]

Just a positively spectacular coincidence that @SECGov gives every broker-dealer a last call warning to shore their shit up for margin call mayhem 3 days before @GameStop earnings.

#GME #NothingToSeeHere #Cohencidence

[Keegan S. @KeeganSnyder4]

Stop seating yourselves at dirty tables. Stop seating yourselves at dirty tables. Stop seating yourselves at dirty tables. Stop seating yourselves at dirty tables. STOP SEATING YOURSELVES AT DIRTY TABLES. STOP SEATING YOURSELVES AT DIRTY TABLES

[Susanne Trimbath PhD @SusanneTrimbath]

📢Pitchfork moment: when you understand the real cost of government "Lessons Not Learned" are imposed on YOU. Americans think & hope that Washington is doing things that THEY ARE NOT! No knight in shining white regulatory authority is coming to save the day. Inform yourself!

[Keegan S. @KeeganSnyder4]

The amount of times I've been called a Nazi for checking people's vaccine cards is unreal

[Keegan S. @KeeganSnyder4]

The venn diagram of people who are dicks at restaurants and people who aren't vaccinated is a circle.
That being said, I'm really enjoying this vaccine mandate 🤙

[Waitress Musical @WaitressMusical]

We are heartbroken to announce that Waitress on Broadway will be closing effective immediately.

[Keegan S. @KeeganSnyder4]

Families at a restaurant during holiday season:

"There's 45 of us, we don't have a reservation, none of us are happy, and we need to be out in ten minutes"

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

JUST IN:

White House states they defer to the @federalreserve for all inflation predictions.

Incidentally, they also say inflation is going down.

Incidentally, the Federal Reserve has said inflation is here to stay.

[Keegan S. @KeeganSnyder4]

What's the best way to let everyone know my depression is acting up and I'm probably going to ghost everyone for the next month or two? Asking for a friend

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

If you think Miss Frizzle didn't use that Magic School Bus to get real small and travel up people's buttholes, think again.

[Keegan S. @KeeganSnyder4]

I want to give a solid fuck you to @ADT and @PropertyBrother for triggering my Google Home every time their stupid commerical plays on @hulu

[Susanne Trimbath PhD @SusanneTrimbath]

Funny you should ask. We actually covered that today @The_Bull_House!