Keele Howard-Stone

all about the goofs

[Nick Thune Notary Public @nickthune]

Just had a panic attack about turning all my clocks back then realized I don't have any clocks & then had a whole different panic attack

[Bill Clinton @BillClinton]

Even as we protect free speech and assembly, we must condemn hatred, violence and white supremacy. #Charlottesville

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

Hell of a day for the President to forget how to tweet.

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

FBI, 1977: Flag anyone who's stockpiling weapons
FBI, 2017: Flag any virgins buying tiki torches.

[Sydnee Washington @Justsydnyc]

White Supremacist Rally Starter Kit:

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

If it's radical to think that someone working 40 hours a week shouldn't be living in poverty, then yes, count me as a radical.

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

IF average muscle bro = basic hot chick THEN Cell phone blocking face = duck face.

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

The moment when you realize you're not Jim from the office, your Ed Norton in Rounders.

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

What McGregor & Mayweather say to each other is fun flirting compared to what I both shout & whisper to my laptop. #MayweatherMcGregor

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

I wish i had train ac at my apartment... guess reg would do it...but for my dream house!

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

I would challenge anyone within 65lbs of me to a sweat off. (Snack lovers and junkies welcome)

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

Judge: "What were u thinking doin armed robbery?" OJ: "this could go long and im trying to be short with it" #psychoswag #OJSimpson

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

Isis has nothing on what i plan to do with this back up phone once i dont need it anymore.

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

... a sidewalk IS a pedestrian walk way... just say 'over here'

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

"We should forever remember the end of this bloody war, but how?"
"Let's make it sound like it started again on this day the #4thofJuly ?"

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

Just saw a dude in public who's beard hair connects to the back-of-his-neck hair. #noone #LoveHim #please

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

90% of pro cage fights end in a hug! Marriage can't touch those numbers.

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

Tinkerbell hangs out in bars.

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

I would probably have tattoos.

[Keele Howard-Stone @Keelehstone]

More than a display of fitness. My tank tops let you know: "I don't work for you"