keely

e.j.b 🤍 she/her

[clintoris @clintoris]

In one of those funks where texting back feels like getting shot

[lilly! @taylenahq]

i think some people who are criticizing showgirl need to know that while youve been getting down about the liars and the dirty dirty cheats of the world you couldve been getting down to this sick beat

[🦅 @ilovewikipedia]

i am pregnant taking 10 Tylenol a day in hopes my son becomes the greatest Magic the Gathering player in the world

[georgie @georgsoup]

bringing my monkeys to someone else’s circus because they need enrichment

[garshmo @garshmo]

Not now kitten not ever actually

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

i highly recommend getting yourself a “how can i help” partner and not “you will be fine” partner.

[Sam Stryker @sbstryker]

Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married 🧨

[nic @dietxcokewhore]

"you're really funny"

thanks i was ugly as a child

[Gina Darling @MissGinaDarling]

Someone made a playlist for when IT happens 😭😭😂

[e l l a 🇨🇦 @blondehotcoffee]

IP address? you mean the bathroom?

[ᶜᵒᵘʳᵗ @tropicaIghost]

I’m like if a newborn baby was 27 years old

[pamela ☁️☀️🛸 @tisthepamseason]

it was this guy

[໊ @sonohoor]

my toxic trait is i genuinely think i could walk up to a lion and they would sense my wonderful vibes and not attack me

[Brian Gaar @briangaar]

Ozzy AND Hulk Hogan, this is 9/11 if you grew up in a town with one Dairy Queen

[REY @AOTY2024]

Taylor Swift when she sees a blank space

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

Going on a 10 mile walk so I dont harm myself or others

[໊ @sonohoor]

why do people not understand that every time they hurt me emotionally i just get funnier and prettier you are literally just giving me more power

[lexi @Lexilehh]

Oh no coke for me, I just wanted to be in this tiny bathroom with y’all