Keighty Tallman

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

Growing up in VT didn't prepare me for the real world. I suck at driving in traffic and I'm overly excited by Target

[lena ⸆⸉ @redwinets]

god created men and then gave us taylor swift as an apology

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

My 30 year old husband just legitimately asked me how to address an envelope

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

Do jobs* where it doesn't feel like everything is always a shit-show even exist?
(*Career that can support my not modest but not luxurious lifestyle)

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

My favorite thing about 5am Orangetheory is there is no one before us that's leaving looking absolutely murdered that makes us wonder wtf we're about to endure

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

Dan decided having 6 dogs at our house this weekend was a good idea and I would now like to be uninvited from the BBQ I'm hosting

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

The “guns don’t kill people” people sure seem to think a book can make you gay.

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

Taylor Swifts' production team is absolutely incredible. @taylorswift13 and the show itself are amazing but the fact it went of without a hitch last night in the monsoon Foxboro was having is just 🤯

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

Dan asked me if I wanted to go see Zac Brown Band in Worcester on Friday and of course I said yes. Thankfully I also googled the concert and found out we're actually seeing Zach Bryan.

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

So glad I sent up alerts for spending on my personal credit card in case of fraud. Now I get notified when my husband buys something on our shared Amazon account after he "swears he checked it was charging the shared credit card"

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

Nothing makes me feel more superior than when both my dogs choose to cuddle with me rather than Dan

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

My worst personality trait is being supportive of my friends to the point of physical suffering i.e. my sister said yesterday she wants to run a half marathon and today I'm signing up for a half marathon even though I haven't run consistently in years 🙃

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

Opening a soda at work in your cube is so awkward because everyone else is just silently wondering if you're casually cracking a beer mid workday

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

Golf widow season

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

My favorite winter content is dogs that refuse to come inside because all they want to do is play in the snow. Very relatable honestly.

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

Having a breakdown tonight after discovering Tim Allen has been Santa for 28 years and I'm older than that

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

I cannot stop laughing. I can't believe this is real.

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

Oh my goodness Trump’s “major announcement” is even more pathetic than I anticipated

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

I got notified that my dad made a Twitter list called Family and added me. It said it has 3 members. I assumed it was me, my sister and my mom. Nope. It's me, my sister, and @dog_feelings

[brad ❤️‍🔥 @brrr_add]

What is Joe Biden’s plan to get Taylor Swift to fit 229 songs into a two hour set

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Oakley. Halloween is his absolute favorite holiday. Some people asked if he was a teddy bear, which is silly. He's clearly an Australian dog. 13/10

[Keighty Tallman @Keightyyyy]

Dan hates grocery shopping. I hate cooking. So I do the grocery shopping and force Dan to pretend he's a contestant on Chopped where he has to create meals out the random food I've decided to buy each week.