keith ibbotson

former bassist in Scabbard & the Sheaths. And The Bunch of Tories.

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@Hairyloon @prodnose 🙂

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@BritishCycling Well done the Cary Grant team!

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@therealmissjo The next post on my feed would scare your friend even further...
https://t.co/fn72sku43z

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

In the near future, your Tesla will drop you off at the store entrance and then go find a parking spot.

When you’re ready to exit the store, just tap Summon on your phone and the car will come to you.

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@nedboulting @emilychappell You are surely a leg end

[Team Visma | Lease a Bike @vismaleaseabike]

🇪🇸 #LaVuelta25

This is footage we simply can’t keep away from you. 🎥🍿

This is why we love cycling.
An intimate, well-deserved ceremony for all the winners of this Vuelta a España! ❤️🚴

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@gunsnrosesgirl3 Blue Öyster Cult

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@nedboulting Nice work and look forward to hearing more. I'm just guessing that 23 years feels like "almost half a century"?

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@nedboulting You're richer than I thought

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@nedboulting Your headline tomorrow: "It's done! It's done!"

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

Initiate Public Inquiry into Unjustified Executive Bonuses in Water Companies - Sign the Petition! https://t.co/KsVDcNGQrj via @UKChange

[Geraint Thomas @GeraintThomas86]

If my maths is correct, I’ll be starting my 241st Tour stage tomorrow 🤯 And trust me, they don’t get any easier 🤣 But the emotions never change and I can’t wait for it. I hope you all enjoy the next three weeks. My 13th Tour coming right up 👌 #TDF2024

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@shaunwkeaveny Isn't that a Billy Bragg song?

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@ThatEricAlper Cagey Cretins.

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@TheExtremeMusi1 Buck Dharma. Genius. No question.

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@20th_Centurygal Buck Dharma. No contest. Thank you, goodnight.

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

A British writer penned the best description of Donald Trump I’ve ever read:

“Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?”

A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever. I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

• Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

• You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum.

God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish: ‘My God… what… have… I… created?' If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.”

-Nate White

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

I just took part in The Big Plastic Count, as we’re still producing far too much plastic. @_RobbieMoore, will you lead the way at the negotiations for a Global Plastics Treaty and push for a cut in production of at least 75% by 2040?
Your government needs to do more.

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim

[ALASTAIR CAMPBELL @campbellclaret]

Oh God! So Coffey is the new sleeping tablet … stronger than Coffee … as for the guy bottom right eating ear wax … doubtless testing the new treatment for rickets, which will be making a big comeback after a few months more of this lot

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@PeterStefanovi2 The banner has a typo. It wasn't a "live" statement.

[keith ibbotson @keithcibbotson]

@sueperkins No. He lied.