Kelly Mueller

DPT. 💪🏽 lover of all baby animals. 🐼 pour me a glass of wine and I’m your friend for life. 🍷

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

I just wrote a review on Greens Collagen Formula - 195g https://t.co/qBavmLwFmk via @yotpo

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

#CanvaDesignChallenge

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

Breonna Taylor should be celebrating her birthday today.

Let's honor her life today, and every day and continue to call for #JusticeforBre. She was essential and her family needed her.

@louisvillemayor, fire the officers now! Dial Fischer at 844-298-2731.

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

In a positive turn of events.. I got free cover with my Costco ID.

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

26 has been the year of rock bottoms so far.. this new one is me, by myself, drinking sangria and listening to the “Bachelorette Party” playlist on Pandora.

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

Just sitting over here happy crying over Queer Eye. #allthefeels

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

I think I have lateral epicondylitis from riding the bull at Red Rock

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

Sheila on Shameless literally does not leave the house and she’s had 3 boyfriends by Season 2... Just letting that soak in 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

My grandma asked this guy how old his dog was. He responds “1 and a half”. As he walks away she turns to us and says “she’s 3 years old”. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️#suckstogetold

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

All there is to do for study breaks is eat candy and online shop. By the time I take my boards I’ll be broke and have diabetes. 🍬

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

My mom and I are going to take golf lessons together… Picture that. It will be equal parts cussing and laughing. Zero parts succeeding.

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

Going out anymore turns into a full day of recovery occasionally lingering into the next day. If I did 3 nights out in a row like we used to in LaX -while drinking Fleischmans- I think you’d have to defibrillate me on Sunday.

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

The main quality I’m looking for in a man is a semi-functional family that does normal holidays. If you need me I’ll be eating lasagna with my mom. 🐰

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

Whenever I wonder why I’m still single, I just have to put my retainer in and it dawns on me..

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

I’m going to be a great mom… I already do the fake seatbelt during turns to make sure my purse doesn’t tip over.

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

“This is Carey, he plays the bass drum.” “Actually it’s bass guitar..that’d be too easy”. Leave it up to Mom. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

Being blindsided in a break up. It’s never cool. #Bachelor

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

You can tell that state wrestling is in town when you go to the bar in a short high heel and are still taller than 50% of the guys

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

I think I found my favorite holiday.. National Margarita Day 🍹🍹🍹

[Kelly Mueller @kellmueller]

So I just walked into the bar with Frank Kaminsky