Kelly

I think I’m funny. And since I’m the only one reading this, that’s all that matters 💁🏻

[Reli @RELISHing_life]

Legend has it Magi is still paddling 🤣 #Bachelor #BachelorNation

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

Soo, Kit is only on @thebachelorabc to sell Cynthia Rowley clothes... right? #TheBachelor

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

“ Come on Peter- Let it go, let it goooo” - Hannah (a.k.a Elsa the ice princess) #bachelorette #disneyStyledHer

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

Anyone have stats on how many teeny boppers are flocking to the ice rink to be figure skaters just like @jvn ?! Must be in the millions

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

The only thing keeping Facebook semi-relevant is event-planning. As soon as insta-events are a thing, we can kiss Facebook goodbye too

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

Black liquorice flavored things in mixed candy is just life’s reminder that you have to take the bad with the good.

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

Today’s unique sighting: nuns buying spices at Whole Foods

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

It’s snowing and sunny at the same time. I want a fluffy snow rainbow to appear that looks like the lucky charms rainbow marshmallow

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

If I’m looking at Instagram stories, and it switches to a person with more than 7 little grey bars at the top- I AM OUT- I’m passing you immediately. You’re life isn’t that exciting.

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

Am I the only one that thinks smelling roses is weird because they don’t smell like anything?

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

DJ Khalid’s linked in:

Can say “DJ Khaled, “Anotha One”, and “We the best music” and literally nothing else.

*every musician ever clicks endorse*

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

I wish they gave out goody bags after meetings at work like they do at kids birthday parties. “Thanks for your contribution to the project, here’s some mike n Ike’s”

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

*finds whitehouse suggestion box*

maybe get all potential presidents to sit on that Good egg/bad egg scale in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory before they’re sworn in.

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

Where to find some hot thugs? 🤔😂

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

On my flight earlier, there was a man that had a big white beard, and the little girl boarding in front of me thought he was Santa Clause. The bearded man just went with it and the kid was so happy. It was pretty freaking wonderful.

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

Have you ever noticed that announcements on airplanes that are valuable information, like a baggage carousel number, are an indiscernible jumble of mumbles and white noise, but the mid-flight loyalty program credit card pitch comes through clear as a bell 🙄?

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

I’m at the airport and a dad with his toddler son are sitting across from me. The little boy dropped his toy, and the dad immediately called out “FUMBLE!!” and picked it up for him and it was the cutest part of today so far.

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

80% of my being believes in Santa Clause, but the other 20% is being annoying logical and won’t let me live my best life 🎅🏼

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

There’s something about 5 year old boys wearing Uggs that I can’t handle because it’s too freaking adorable

[Kelly @kelly_a_fitz]

Work is cool and all, but today I would really love to wrap myself up in a blanket like a burrito and watch the Magic School Bus instead