Kelly Tomlinson

Disco trees with glitter leaves

[Larry the Cat @Number10cat]

“Is he still in there? Then I’m fine right here thanks”

[Shaughna Phillips @Shaughna_P]

You know damn well there’s nothing in that bag

God I love her 😂

[Kelly Tomlinson @kellybeann_]

When you message @LookfantasticCS about returning straighteners and they suggest USING HAIRSPRAY?!?! I'm 31 hun, I have "styled" my hair for a fair few years so would like to think I know what I am doing...and what clearly doesn't work🙃

[Kelly Tomlinson @kellybeann_]

@HelenAnderz On my petrol light and can't get filled up...at work all weekend 🙄🙄

[Kelly Tomlinson @kellybeann_]

Why are shit bin bags even allowed? If I wanted to throw food all over the fucking floor I JUST WOULD.

[Kelly Tomlinson @kellybeann_]

Dumbledore dying gets me every time but now I can't look at or call my cat, who we named Albus. The circle of life.

[Kelly Tomlinson @kellybeann_]

@beckyjanerose Makes you feel old, doesn't it 😂

[Kelly Tomlinson @kellybeann_]

Shit man, RIP to one of the best drummers of all time. Joey Jordison. 💔

[Kelly Tomlinson @kellybeann_]

Self isolation just means many episodes of Naked Attraction and rating penises.

[Kelly Tomlinson @kellybeann_]

@rmorganbentley Pineapples

[Shirley Raines @beauty2streetz]

Society has made people think that they have no voice if they’re homeless.

[Kelly Tomlinson @kellybeann_]

How odd that your train of thought can go from Wimbledon - last train home - lost prophets - prison for being a peodophile.

[Kelly Tomlinson @kellybeann_]

@katiecboulter You played amazingly! This was one to remember!

[Dr. Jennifer Cassidy @OxfordDiplomat]

Excuse me?

NOT only is Matt Hancock still on £81,932 a year.

But I’ve just learnt he got 16k FOR resigning.

That’s more than some people I know make in a year!

And he stood over the disgraceful NHS “payrise”.

I can’t express my true rage, or I’d be banned from Twitter.

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

BREAKING: More embarrassment for Matt Hancock as he misinterprets the meaning of ‘hands, face, space’.

[Kelly Tomlinson @kellybeann_]

@LauraaT16 This about me?

[ratgirl🌙 @squirtraline]

Surviving a global pandemic only to be absolutely fucking annihilated by some pollen