kellybeans79

Just out here trying to figure out how I landed a hot wife

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

Correct, it makes you a better mom

[𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚊𝚊🤍 @Aliciaaaabby]

SMOKING ✨WEED ✨DOES ✨NOT MAKE✨ YOU ✨A✨ BAD✨ MOM ✨

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

I complain about spending $150+ on shoes and Dalia says “but you have no problem spending it on weed.” 🤔

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

It matches his tiny hands how cute

[The Hoarse Whisperer @TheRealHoarse]

When you leave your desk in the dryer too long.

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

Woke up to old people sending me pics from Facebook on who disobeyed Governors orders 😂

[triple p 💞 @Iam_Afrodisiac]

Fuck Christopher Columbus and fuck them pilgrims

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

Watching videos comparing weed strains

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

Me: taking a little peek at insta this morning & instantly seeing a long ass post about honesty & transparency
Me:

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

Happy Early Thanksgiving to everyone except the 73 million that voted for Trump. #ThanksgivingEve #BidenHarris

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

Every time I open my mouth, I regret it. 😖

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

This morning I imagined being taller & how nice it must feel to be closer to the shower head

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

@Dollypolly69 Just sayin 😏

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

Weed and sex can help relieve migraines.

[Chelsea Handler @chelseahandler]

2020 is the best reason to start stuffing your Thanksgiving turkey with marijuana.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Making love to a wife? It’s Simply the Best

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

Watching seniors fumbling with their smart phones, reminds me of having sex for the 1st time. #awkward

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

Fact: Everything is better high

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

If I ever say “I’ll call you” it’s a lie. I never call anyone.

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

When your wife tells you “looks don’t matter” 😳🤔

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

😂

[kellybeans79 @kellybeans791]

I probably need a therapist but instead I’m on Twitter. #fridaymorning