kelly

life’s like a road that you travel on it’s one day here the next day gone sometimes you bend sometimes you stand sometimes you turn your back to the wind there’

[kelly @kellycoolz]

I like my coffee like I like my men— simple, no frills, medium strength, skinny, ice cold, a little pretentious, bitter, looks good in photos, either at church or at a punk show, wearing vans, on a skateboard

[kelly @kellycoolz]

You ever just wonder what Orlando Bloom’s up to these days?

[kelly @kellycoolz]

@oats_r_us who are you

[kelly @kellycoolz]

Today I bought platform crocs at the outlet mall don’t text

[kelly @kellycoolz]

@hannahfaragalla Okay this is too good you can retire from Twitter now

[kelly @kellycoolz]

@oats_r_us boooo

[blaire erskine @blaireerskine]

my husband was trying to talk about Shrek but he couldn’t remember Shrek’s name (Shrek) so he called him “summertime grinch”

[kelly @kellycoolz]

@blurlouise lol didn’t mean to call you out 🤪

[kelly @kellycoolz]

Sorry to be this way, but this tweet didn’t get enough attention

[kelly @kellycoolz]

A 6-year-old boy walks up to the magazine rack at the dentist’s office and grabs a copy of Martha Stewart’s Living. His mom looks up at me and says “every time.”

[Mason Mennenga @masonmennenga]

CDC this, CDC that, i just want to C a DC Talk reunion

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

my mom found and threw away my box of ants. I was so close to having enough ants

[kelly @kellycoolz]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! It was to impress a boy some things never change :/

#MyTwitterAnniversary

[kelly @kellycoolz]

Anyway, here’s a shrine I inadvertently made while decorating. The world misses you, Joan.

[kelly @kellycoolz]

Five people have texted me to check in since Joan Didion passed—last time this happened was when Cole Sprouse got a new gf so this must mean I’ve successfully rebranded.

[kelly @kellycoolz]

My life is a constant battle between wanting to be stylish and wanting to avoid the men in my family saying “nice outfit” or perceiving me in any way

[kelly @kellycoolz]

Chasing that warm glow feeling of giving people what they really want for Christmas 😚✨🎅🏼

[Blair @blurlouise]

@kellycoolz I miss your Twitter presence can you pls tweet more ma’am?

[kelly @kellycoolz]

I keep trying to swear off crushes but my entire sense of humor is really just a ploy to impress skinny indie boys with letterboxd accounts and who would I be if not an entertainer?

[kelly @kellycoolz]

My dad’s smoked Gouda supplier is retiring to sail a boat around the world—what an unexpected catalyst to this year’s home-for-Christmas existential dread

[kelly @kellycoolz]

@blurlouise Sorry who is this?

[trash jones @jzux]

i live in constant fear of being asked to share a “fun fact about me”