justcallmesamson

Football and pictures of my dogs. Mostly vegan. Gardener. Dress hoarder. Activist. Feminist. Drinker of all the cocktails. #teamDawson

[justcallmesamson @KellyDassow]

There is no other love like this. #lovemelovemydog 🐶❤️

[Cathryn @cathrynlavery]

How to know if you are a 'Huberman husband'

I'm definitely halfway there. Someone needs to create a diagnosis quiz on this 😅

@hubermanlab

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

People are like "Show me your Spotify wrapped" like I don't share my account with a six year old.

He listened to Skibidi by Little Big over 500 times, there's no way I could break through.

[the hotter kenny omega @SamGreszes]

So I'm pretty frustrated & confused rn? just got home from a date and when she went to pick up her bill I said "don't worry about it, drinks are on me tonight" she fucking threw her FULL BEER at me?!?? has this happened to anyone else????? her name is Amelia Bedelia if that helps

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

that's my emotional support room-temperature iced coffee with an inch of water floating on top

[justcallmesamson @KellyDassow]

I just earned the 'Find the Source (Level 4)' badge on @untappd! https://t.co/RDelQH8LWE

[justcallmesamson @KellyDassow]

I just earned the 'Land of the Free (Level 33)' badge on @untappd! https://t.co/9RGwDf54lP

[justcallmesamson @KellyDassow]

I just earned the 'Cheers To You! (Level 9)' badge on @untappd! https://t.co/0yznGaMqoV

[justcallmesamson @KellyDassow]

I just earned the 'International Beer Day (2022)' badge on @untappd! https://t.co/J4QEPPZR1k #internationalbeerday; #beersacrosstheglobe; #globalbeertoast

[🕷️ـــــــــﮩ٨ـ @tranasiaaa_]

i knew i matured when i was okay with no one knowing my side of the story.

[rebekah @rebekah_e_s]

Men love to keep a little pile of clothes next to their side of the bed

[ashley abigail @abithegemini]

transitioning ur weekend purse back to ur work purse 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[Laura Marie @lmegordon]

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife's plans for the second time.

[Emily Nussbaum @emilynussbaum]

Which 30 Rock fictional project do you think was the best one (i.e. highest quality/most entertaining), in a universe in which they’re all real? My bet is on The Rural Juror.

[Jeff Bell @4WhomJBellTolls]

Fantasy trading….

You: (minding your own business)

Leaguemate: “I would like Hollywood Brown”

You: “Ok, make an offer”

LM: “No”

You: “ok, a 1st”

LM: “no, his value is a 3rd, I can’t believe you”

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

An under-discussed effect of COVID is how we kind of lost casual friends. The incidental buddies you ran into at a BBQ, holiday party or softball game- just rapture-like disappeared. Now everyone you talk to is either coworker or 1 of the 5 most important people you've ever known

[justcallmesamson @KellyDassow]

@AmandaHuntnKiss They make it look so easy on TikTok 🤥

[Tiffany C. Li @tiffanycli]

Stay indoors. But also return in person. Wear a mask. Not that one. The expensive one, that you can’t find. Take rapid tests. Which you also can’t find. But if you find them, don’t buy them. Rapid tests don’t work. You need PCR. There are zero appointments in your area.

[Farah Miller @farahlearned]

Is it omicron or delta or your period or a cold or flu or allergies or anxiety or long covid or perimenopause or food poisoning or migraine or a tumor (“it’s not a tumor”) or PTSD or parenting is just so hard lolol or too much sitting and screen time and stress or IS IT COVID or

[justcallmesamson @KellyDassow]

I just earned the 'Wheel of Styles (Level 8)' badge on @untappd! https://t.co/8LIOv3qWPL

[justcallmesamson @KellyDassow]

I just earned the 'Season of Giving (2021)' badge on @untappd! https://t.co/xXFnbXT5o6 #seasonofgiving #untappdgiving