kelly violet

I'm pissing dewclaws. Let me bore you to death with words instead.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

Spider just made a cobweb from my head to the table and is acting like a fucking trapeze arachnid infront of me. I’m not your circus mate

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

I make my UFC picks based solely on the size of their bums.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

STINKY TURKEY!!!

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

If Im ever sad, I just look at my dogs paws and call them hands and feet.
It's hilarious.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

I've just died. There is a bird called a Stinky Turkey- I shit you not.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

Just spent 2 hours watching videos of dogs who were too excited to get their collars on.

I can't even be bothered to get dressed.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

'Never trust people who don't like Fugazi'

Why- are you scared I'm going to steal your beige taste in music?

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

@LeeJamesVincent I found a castle with a hot tub in the turret thing.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

I want my own private indoor swimming pool. I'm going to bankrupt myself on a lonely solo holiday because I don't want to share water.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

@kellyviolet I've leaked sassy discharge all over the internet today.

[Bob Vulfov @bobvulfov]

GUY: girls dont watch porn
GIRL: i watch porn
GUY: oh yea? whats the name of the composer who scored 'semen demons 5'

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

No one gives a shit about your dad. Just saying.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

Fear the Walking Dead?
Fear of giving a shit about that piss stain of a program.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

Baths make me feel like I'm a tooth bobbing around in a dentists used spit cup.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

If someone I know likes bands like Pierce The Veil, I just cut them off. Emotionally. Physically. Their opinion on anything becomes void.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

There's a difference between low-brow, and just plain old shit.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

'Can't believe the weather. It was rain...'
Shut up.
Do what I do and don't leave the house, then no one has to listen to your inane shit.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

If anyone was ever thinking about going to Canvey Island.
Don't.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

A fly legit pissed on my finger earlier today.

[kelly violet @kellyviolet]

Sat in the garden with pig. My shoulder got in the sun. Went back indoors.