kelso🌙

she/her | just sexy and stupid I guess

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

Like yeah I’m hot now but I used to hiss at people in elementary school so it kinda cancels out

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

i am the most excited girl on earth in this moment, truly

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Boots Riley is developing a film adaptation of ‘MR BURNS: A POST-ELECTRIC PLAY’

The stage play follows survivors of an apocalypse who recount ‘The Simpsons’ episode “Cape Feare” to distract themselves & later form a travelling theatre company that performs Simpsons episodes.

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

put on my skates for the first time in 6 yrs, barely made it out the door and immediately sprained my wrist lol

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

need like a straight guy on an earpiece feeding me lines when I’m bartending during football season bc my whole “I just hope everyone has fun” vibe is not working anymore

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

apologies to my neighbors as I try to teach myself harmonica for a bit that won’t pay off for months

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

don’t see a lot of drunks hiccuping nowadays outside of old cartoons, I feel like a dying breed

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

Bodysuits and rompers are truly a scourge, I feel more exposed having to strip down in a public bathroom to pee than I would fully nude in Times Square

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

burnt out on bartending, facing the age old question of whether I go to cosmo school, get my real estate license, go into liquor sales or kms

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

tonight I am contemplating the faked nudes of me in hs and how they got my buttcheek freckles almost right.

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

every night I try to astral project into baz luhrmann’s dreams to convince him to adapt great comet into a movie musical

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

healing my inner teenager and buying myself the pair of tuk creepers I’ve wanted since I was 14 for Christmas

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

just pulled a theatre kid at karaoke and nailed it. feeling super smug and egotistical

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

frankly all I have ever wanted in life is to get to say “live from New York, it’s Saturday night” during a cold open

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

my work just switched from single serve bottles of Prosecco to full sized corked ones:) just almost took out an eye opening one for the first time:)

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

everytime some asks me for a cape cod instead of just saying vodka cran I get a new grey hair

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

going to start getting voice lessons again solely to show off at karaoke

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

is it weird to email the costume designer of the production of Little Shop I just saw bc there’s this one skirt they had Audrey in that I have absolutely not been able to get out of my head

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

someone ordered one of my original cocktails for the first time tonight:-)) someone pinch me:-))

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

@mel_oliva09 main slice in downtown ls:-)

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

the fact that alcohol is half off today and my bar top is empty?? actually insane

[kelso🌙 @kelpeyann]

sos can someone pls help me come up with a name for this cocktail, it’s a riff on a dark and stormy with blonde rum, lime juice and a mango syrup topped with ginger beer