Kelsey

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

Does anyone actually know why the hotshops are called the hotshops?

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

The mini NYT is really missing the mark on these answers…

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

Tis the season to judge everyone’s Christmas decorations

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

I don’t know what property developer/real estate developer/home architect etc needs to hear this but STOP building raised ranch homes.

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

If you think you work with idiots, just know that today a coworker asked me “Is Independence Day the same as 4th of July?”
#ThisIsAmerica

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

I’m convinced being an adult is literally sending the same $50 back and forth between your friends.

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

“I think in a second life, I would either be a burger or ice cream.” -@JoeMucci

“Well either way, you come from a cow when you moooooove on” -Me, crying though tears at that dad joke

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

My special talent is finding the perfect size container for the amount of leftovers I have.

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

The sentence most repeated in my house is “What?” because:
1. No one is listening.
2. Half of us can’t hear.
3. Everyone thinks they need to be included in all conversations, even if it doesn’t pertain to them.

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

Do all states refer to the northern part of the state as ‘upstate’? Or is that just a New York thing?

Upstate Florida?
Upstate Utah?
That just sounds weird.

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

Me, putting on a stellar car concert performance to Adele
Joey: “She can really sing.”

I’m going to assume that I am the *she* he is talking about.

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

Leaf blowers: the unofficial soundtrack of fall

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

Well that’s a new one..

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

Nothing screams professional email address like this one.

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

Umm...wut? Why?

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

“Are you ok” no, my boyfriend watches Thursday night football, Saturday football, Sunday football and Monday night football

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

I couldn’t be a cop for a number of reasons but in the top 5 would be that anyone driving in front of you will almost always be going less than the speed limit. And my lead foot can’t handle that.

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

@SheenyWrldPeace *drive at the perfect speed* is the part people don’t seem to get!!

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

If you can’t figure out how to go through the EZpass lane the right way, then your privileges should be revoked and you should have to pay cash.

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

My nail technician talking about how time is flying: “Soon before you know it, we’ll be in our 30s.”
Me, knowing she thinks I’m around 23: “yeah..crazy” 👀👀

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

Joey has me watching sports all GD year yet when the Olympics come around, the sports event of all sports, and it’s actually something I want to watch, he has the AUDACITY to tell me he hates the Olympics...

[Kelsey @kelseyanders0n]

I’m supposed to work until 5:30 and every day my internet disconnects at 5:10... I think that’s a sign to call it a day early.