bartholomew kelvin stanley

thumb pecking monkey

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

It's going to be fine.
Just align.

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Prepare to short againnn

[Watcher.Guru @WatcherGuru]

JUST IN: Jim Cramer says the market is "oversold" and he is "buying."

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Maksudnya?
TOEFL PBT itu max 677
TOEFL IBT itu max 120

Score 800 bukan buat orang kaya, itu mah score dewa dapat 800.
Ga ada score TOEFL 700-800.
TOKEK standardized test kali 700-800.

[Kompas.com @kompascom]

Ketua Umum Golkar, Bahlil Lahadalia, mengkritik syarat TOEFL tinggi pada beasiswa LPDP. Menurutnya, aturan tersebut hanya menguntungkan anak keluarga mampu dan menyulitkan siswa dari kalangan kurang mampu serta santri.

Baca di sini: https://t.co/YbpccpYfgl

~TR #Bahlil #LPDP #TOEFL

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Ingin menjadi juru damai, tapi perihal perjanjian perdagangan aja kacau.
Mana ada sejarahnya 2 pihak bilang sama sama menang.
Lagian udah bisa dilihat dr reciprocal tariff tahun lalu, ngitungnya aja pake Trump Math.
Mulutmu harimaumu, bilang antek asing, sekarang jadi aliansi

[tempo.co @tempodotco]

Presiden Prabowo Subianto siap terbang ke Teheran, ibu kota Iran, untuk menjadi juru damai antara Iran dan Amerika Serikat.

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Gila gila gila

[Watcher.Guru @WatcherGuru]

JUST IN: 🇺🇸🇮🇷 US used Anthropic's Claude AI for its military operations during strikes on Iran, WSJ reports.

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Peace or Piss.
Btw kok saya tidak melihat hmm

[Niz @NizMhani]

🚨BREAKING:

The "Board of Peace" launches its first war....

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Ameriki being Ameriki.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I am a diplomatic aide in the Sultanate of Oman's Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

My job is logistics. When two countries that cannot speak to each other need to speak to each other, I book the rooms. I prepare the briefing materials. I make sure the water glasses are the right distance apart. You would be surprised how much of diplomacy is water glasses. Too close and it feels informal. Too far and it feels like a tribunal. I have a chart.

We had a very good month.

Since January, Oman has been mediating indirect talks between the United States and Iran on Iran's nuclear program. The talks were held in Muscat and in Geneva. The Americans would sit in one room. The Iranians would sit in another room. I would walk between them. My Fitbit says I averaged fourteen thousand steps on negotiation days. The hallway between the two rooms at the Royal Opera House conference center is forty-seven meters. I walked it two hundred and twelve times in February. This is good for my cardiovascular health. It was less good for my knees. Both are in the service of peace.

By mid-February, we had something.

Iran agreed to zero stockpiling of enriched uranium. Not reduced stockpiling. Zero. They agreed to down-blend existing stockpiles to the lowest possible level. They agreed to convert them into irreversible fuel. They agreed to full IAEA verification with potential US inspector access. They agreed, in the Foreign Minister's phrase, to "never, ever" possess nuclear material for a bomb. I have worked in diplomacy for seven years. I have never seen a country agree to this many things this quickly. I made a spreadsheet of the concessions. It had fourteen rows. I color-coded it. Green for confirmed. Yellow for pending. By February 21 the spreadsheet was entirely green. I printed it. It is on my desk in Muscat. It is still green.

That phrase took eleven days. "Never, ever." The Iranians initially offered "not seek to." The Americans wanted "will not under any circumstances." We landed on "never, ever" at 2:14 AM on a Tuesday in Muscat. I typed the final version myself. I used Times New Roman because Geneva prefers it. The document was fourteen pages. I was proud of every comma.

Here is what they said, in the order they said it.

February 24: "We have a once-in-a-generation opportunity." — The Foreign Minister, private briefing to Gulf Cooperation Council ambassadors. I prepared the slide deck. Slide 14 was the implementation timeline. Slide 15 was the signing ceremony logistics. I had reserved the Palais des Nations in Geneva, Room XX. It seats four hundred. We discussed pen brands for the signing. The Iranians preferred Montblanc. The Americans had no preference. I ordered twelve Montblanc Meisterstucks at six hundred and thirty dollars each. They arrive on Tuesday.

February 27, 8:30 AM EST: "The deal is within our reach." — The Foreign Minister, CBS Face the Nation. He sat across from Margaret Brennan. He said broad political terms could be agreed "tomorrow" with ninety days for technical implementation in Vienna. He said, and I wrote this line for the briefing card he carried in his breast pocket: "If we just allow diplomacy the space it needs." He praised the American envoys by name. Steve Witkoff. Jared Kushner. He said both had been constructive.

I watched from the Four Seasons Georgetown. The minibar had cashews. I ate the cashews. They were nineteen dollars. The most expensive cashew I have ever eaten. But it was a good morning and we were within our reach.

February 27, 2:00 PM EST: Meeting with Vice President Vance, Washington. The Foreign Minister presented our progress. Zero stockpiling. Full verification. Irreversible conversion. "Never, ever." The Vice President used the word "encouraging." His aide took notes on an iPad. The aide did not make eye contact for the last nine minutes of the meeting. I noticed this. Noticing things is the only part of my job that is not water glasses.

February 27, 4:00 PM EST: "Not happy with the pace." — President Trump, to reporters.

Not happy with the pace.

We had achieved zero stockpiling. Full IAEA verification. Irreversible fuel conversion. Inspector access. And the phrase "never, ever," which took eleven days and cost me two hundred and twelve trips down a forty-seven-meter hallway.

Every American president since Carter has failed to get Iran to agree to this. Forty-five years.

Not happy with the pace.

February 27, 9:47 PM EST: The Foreign Minister's flight departs Dulles for Muscat. I am in the seat behind him. He is reviewing Slide 14 on his laptop. The implementation timeline. Vienna technical sessions. The signing ceremony. The pens.

I fall asleep over the Atlantic. I dream about water glasses.

February 28, 6:00 AM GST: I wake up to push notifications.

February 28: "The United States has begun major combat operations in Iran." — President Trump.

Operation Epic Fury. Coordinated airstrikes. The United States and Israel. Tehran. Isfahan. Qom. Karaj. Kermanshah. Nuclear facilities. IRGC bases. Sites near the Supreme Leader's office. Israel called their half Operation Roaring Lion. Someone in both governments spent time choosing these names. Epic Fury. Roaring Lion. I spent eleven days on "never, ever." They spent it on branding. The President said Iran had "rejected American calls to halt its nuclear weapons production."

Rejected.

Iran had agreed to zero stockpiling. Iran had agreed to full verification. Iran had agreed to "never, ever." Iran had agreed to everything in a fourteen-page document that I typed in Times New Roman.

The President said they rejected it.

I do not know which document the President was reading. I know which one I typed.

February 28, 18:45 UTC: Iran internet connectivity: four percent. — NetBlocks, confirmed by Cloudflare. Ninety-six percent of a country went dark. You cannot negotiate with a country at four percent connectivity. You cannot negotiate with a country that is being struck. You cannot negotiate. This is not a political opinion. This is a logistics assessment.

February 28: The governor of Minab reported forty girls killed at an elementary school.

I do not have logistics for that. There is no slide for that. The water glass chart does not cover that.

February 28: Lockheed Martin: up. Northrop Grumman: up. RTX: up. Dow futures: down six hundred and twenty-two points. Gold: five thousand two hundred and ninety-six dollars. An analyst at AInvest published a note titled "Iran Strikes: Tactical Plays." The note recommended positions in oil, defense stocks, and gold.

The most expensive cashew I have ever eaten was nineteen dollars. The most expensive pen I have ever ordered was six hundred and thirty dollars. The math suggests I have been working in the wrong industry. Defense stocks do not require water glasses. Defense stocks do not require eleven days. Defense stocks require one morning.

February 28: Israel closed its airspace and its schools. Iran launched retaliatory missiles toward US bases in the Gulf. The Supreme Leader promised a "crushing response." Israel's defense minister declared a permanent state of emergency. Everyone is using words I recognize in an order I do not. I recognize "permanent." I recognize "emergency." I do not recognize them next to each other. In diplomacy, nothing is permanent and everything is an emergency. In war it is the reverse.

February 28: The Foreign Minister has not made a public statement.

The briefing card is still in his breast pocket. It still says "within our reach."

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Diadu ama yang atas masih aja kepincut, wake up fam

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Rata-rata per tahun kali ya?

[b3'doel @B3doel___]

Data dari mana?

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Tergantung konteks, kalau min kerja 3 tahun, knp yg lulusan oxford bs masuk jd pilihan? Sebaliknya juga begitu, kalau buat fresh grad knp yg ada pengalaman kerja bs masuk jd piilihan?

Kalo gue jd recruiter, gue merefleksikan apa yang gue lakukan dan bertanya.
“Lho, kok bisa?”

[Risang Pradipta @rsngprad]

Kalo lo jadi recruiter, pilih yg mana?

Lulusan UI + kerja di Google 3 tahun
atau
Lulusan Oxford, fresh graduate

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Lah kocak, maafkan mindset saya bang 🙏.

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

@dainieru @AnfieldFootball @lilmng @itshandres Weak link, jadi wajar

[Atlético de Madrid @atletienglish]

Celebrating 90M followers with you, family ❤️🤍

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Time to short

[Jim Cramer @jimcramer]

buy crypto

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Beraninya pas malam hari, beraninya gelap-gelapan, ya memang tikus kurang lebih kaya gitu.

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

@wllsnph Ke jalanan mano nih breku

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Padahal provokatornya orang DPR itu sendiri.

[Joel Picard @sociotalker]

his brain stopped working 20 years ago

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Ngangong ngangong kukungkingkang

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Sama persis dengan yang diucapkan di youtube sekretariat presiden.

👍👍👍

[Prabowo Subianto @prabowo]

Saudara-saudara sekalian,

Saya telah mengikuti perkembangan beberapa hari ini, terutama peristiwa tadi malam, di mana terjadi demonstrasi yang mengarah kepada tindakan anarkis. Juga ada peristiwa di mana seorang petugas menabrak pengemudi ojek online yang mengakibatkan almarhum Affan Kurniawan tadi malam meninggal dunia.

Atas nama pribadi dan Pemerintah Republik Indonesia, saya mengucapkan turut berduka cita dan menyampaikan bela sungkawa yang sedalam-dalamnya. Saya sangat prihatin dan sangat sedih terjadi peristiwa ini. Pemerintah akan menjamin kehidupan keluarganya, serta memberikan perhatian khusus kepada orang tuanya, adik-adiknya, dan kakak-kakaknya.

Sekali lagi, saya terkejut dan kecewa dengan tindakan petugas yang berlebihan. Saya telah memerintahkan agar insiden tadi malam diusut secara tuntas dan transparan, serta petugas-petugas yang terlibat harus bertanggung jawab. Seandainya ditemukan bahwa mereka berbuat di luar kepatutan dan ketentuan yang berlaku, kita akan ambil tindakan sekeras-kerasnya sesuai hukum yang berlaku.

Dalam situasi seperti ini, saya menghimbau masyarakat untuk tenang. Untuk percaya kepada pemerintah yang saya pimpin. Pemerintah yang saya pimpin akan berbuat yang terbaik untuk rakyat. Semua keluhan masyarakat akan kami catat dan tindak lanjuti.

Saya juga menghimbau kepada seluruh bangsa Indonesia untuk selalu waspada. Ada unsur-unsur yang selalu ingin huru-hara, yang ingin chaos. Saya sampaikan kepada seluruh rakyat bahwa hal tersebut tidak menguntungkan rakyat, tidak menguntungkan masyarakat, tidak menguntungkan bangsa kita.

Bangsa kita sedang berbenah diri. Bangsa kita sedang mengumpulkan semua tenaga, kekuatan, kekayaan, untuk kita bangkit membangun negara yang kuat, sejahtera, serta berhasil mengatasi kemiskinan dan kelaparan. Kita akan menjadi bangsa yang maju, yang mandiri, yang berdiri di atas kaki sendiri.

Untuk itu, kita harus waspada, kita harus tenang, dan kita tidak boleh mengizinkan kelompok-kelompok yang ingin membuat huru-hara dan kerusuhan. Aspirasi yang sah, silakan untuk disampaikan. Kita akan perbaiki semua yang perlu diperbaiki.

Saya kira itu pesan saya.

Terima kasih. Merdeka!

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Ga usah pake bahasa berat gitu dah, keberatan amanat lu bangsat.

[bartholomew kelvin stanley @kelvstanley]

Justru harus mahasiswa dan warga sipil yang turun, kalo ada afiliasi organisasi ya lihat saja sejarahnya gimana.