essketitandyeetballs

sqüsh

[Earl Dibbles Jr @EarlDibblesJr]

Welcome to the country where we save the napkins from restaurants and put em in our glove compartment 😂

[kb @ojvhteuhyhes]

sorry my twitter content is awful now, unfortunately i am “very in love” and “happy”

[˚✧₊⁎ rodentlover555 ⁎⁺˳✧༚ @gastationbarbie]

i want to cum in him so bad but i have this dumb ass pussy

[Iris 💫 @Jest_Iris]

Girl that doesn’t want to litter so she puts little scraps in her purse to toss later but then forgets to and ends up constantly carrying a little bag full of trash

[Diet Coke @DietCoke]

brb, learning how to say “one diet coke, please” in every language.

[jmart @JeremiahTMC]

“wyd after work??” going to bed bro i ain’t no super hero 😭

[essketitandyeetballs @kendrajoy99]

i remember the first time i showed chaz how to change the power on the microwave and he thought i was a fucking wizard. same thing with the butter soften/melt settings 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣🤣

[Joe Kwaczala @joekjoek]

anytime microwave instructions are like heat for 3 minutes on “50% power” it’s like… what on earth are you talking about

[essketitandyeetballs @kendrajoy99]

i am so fucking sick of seeing ads for all the beers we have on tap at work bc my watch/phone hears me list them off all day 😭😭😭

[essketitandyeetballs @kendrajoy99]

google assistant is set up so when we leave i say “hey google, cosmo is in charge” and it turns the lights/tv off and plays the radio so he doesnt feel so alone 😌

[heide @heidemacosta]

just something about MEN WITH TATTOOS BROOO😩😩😩😩😩😩

[James @CaucasianJames]

mrs. puff would’ve fucking hated me

[essketitandyeetballs @kendrajoy99]

reason #6242497 why i moved to florida 😍 i work at a restaurant in a marina on the gulf of mexico and i get to see the craziest sunsets every fucking night like bust a whole nut

[essketitandyeetballs @kendrajoy99]

cosmo’s never fully run away from me but if we’re at the beach or the park and its time to leave or he wont come over i just start walking away bc he think its a game but hes not about to let me leave him there alone he a whole bitch 😭🤣