Kennedy Van Rossum

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

The accuracy.

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

“What if we change everything everyone loves about our store? Make the aisles go in all different directions? Make it impossible to turn carts around? No one will be able to find what they need.”

Target executives: roll this out immediately.

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

Banana is crazy if they think I'm about to drop $80 on a sweater that says "ciao ciao" on it.

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

Me driving in Des Moines with these pot holes

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

I may be an adult but I still use my purple fiskars scissors from elementary school and I don't plan on stopping any time soon.

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

I was so used to going to the OB doctor for 9 months, now I'm at the regular doctor and my first thought was why are there men here?

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

Recipe: add the freshly grated nutmeg...
Me: digs out the McCormick that's been in the back of my cupboard for years

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

In other news, my dog just ate a spider that (very rationally) terrified me. I am proud and disgusted all at the same time.

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

Panera mac and cheese is the frickin GOLD STANDARD of mac and cheese. Nothing else compares.

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

My Dear Melancholy, 💕

[HamishSteele @hamishsteele]

This video cassette I found at my grandmas house still makes me laugh so much

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

I tried guessing my parent's 4 letter lock combo thinking it'll be their initials or something.

My mom comes over and puts in SHAT. THE CODE IS SHAT WTF.

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

Just when we thought infomercials were dead, they make a comeback onto our social media timelines as 30 second sponsored posts. Resilient SOBs.

[halsey @halsey]

here is my entire “A Story Like Mine” poem from today’s #WomensMarch2018 in NYC tw: rape / assault. Thank you.

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

If a dog comes on TV...

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

I spilled soup all over my backseat so now I have a really souped up car.

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

My dad drew cards for my younger siblings to color and give to the grandparents. My sister is awesome because A. She made Santa black, B. She did it without even thinking about it, and C. Because this one is for my racist great grandma. Merry Christmas, Darlene.

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

A lady just told me I shouldn't have parked next to her bc SHE parked so bad she couldn't get into her car. Nahhhh that's exactly why I pulled in that spot woman.

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

It's a vibe.

[Kennedy Van Rossum @kennedyvanr]

This one's for Erin.