mac

[Whack Morris @WhackMorris]

“I’ll have a Cock, please.”

“We have Penis. Is that okay?”

*disappointed sigh*

“I guess I’ll do a large Penis then.”

[crov @crovoboros]

he has a certain jamiroquai about him

[🍉 rider ☽☾ i want you safe.. my doctor..🔻 @Iegomonkiekid]

the everything app

[Beer Enjoyer @YungGiamatti]

That's some real shit you just said Trevor, love my community

[ꉂ Silly🐾 comms open @Sillyautisticat]

I dont like shedtwt but this shit funny sometimes

[Brunette Bohemian @Jane_Doe82]

Interviewer: I’m sorry, we won’t be offering you the position

Me: {full seafood boil on the table} was it the seafood boil?

Interviewer: It was the seafood boil

[very tall bart @TallBart]

Friend: (Showing me Not Like Us) What do you think?
Me: This beat is dopelicious
Friend: What about the pedophile bar?
Me: They should shut that place down

[Shunting Yard 💙✨ @shunting_yard]

Hey Squidward, what’s the Spanish word for “eye”?

Squidward:

[Evolve @EvolveWildlife]

To survive harsh Hokkaido winters, the Ezo flying squirrel relies on a dense thermal coat and communal roosting in tree cavities.

📷 Shikibrand

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

STOP THE CAR

[Gabe @melchizedek420]

you used to fart me on my butt phone

[maria ˃ 𖥦 ˂(dms for skin removal only) @90smiau]

explaining empathy to americans:

[𝖘 𝖍 𝖆 𝖚 𝖓 𒉭 @Shadowfaaax]

this is going to ruin the tour

[Barry @BarryOnHere]

"Xenu was an alien dictator from 75 million years ago who transported billions of beings to Earth, placed them around volcanoes, and killed them with hydrogen bombs. Anyway, I think you & Travis would be great members."

[beef strokinoff 🛸 @uhh_luc]

Evil Beatles: eeewwwww look at all the ugly peeoplllleeeee

[Emmy @gallintry]

Happy 13 anniversary to Elon texting this to Epstein

[Me & Who? @tagyourwho]

can i come over and do this to you