Kenyon Herbert

Noun. Noun. Proper Noun's noun. Noun to Proper Noun and Proper Noun. mostly U of Illinois and Chicago sports The views expressed are mine and mine alone.

[Jarvis @jarvis_best]

The idea that the US government could keep aliens under wraps is ridiculous. These people are incompetent. Last week they arrested a Secret Service agent for beating off in a hotel lobby. Last month a Secret Service agent assigned to Jill Biden shot himself in the ass. No one is harboring Martians.

[Anne Applebaum @anneapplebaum]

Trump has insulted and tariffed his European allies, persuaded Denmark to prepare for a US invasion and, by pressuring Ukraine and not Russia, encouraged Putin to keep fighting. All of which he has forgotten.
https://t.co/GhDO27FyxK

[Kenyon Herbert @kenyonherbert]

@TheFieldOf68

[Kenyon Herbert @kenyonherbert]

@WhityRemarks Took a page out of the Illini book of last second defense.

[Anthropic @AnthropicAI]

A statement on the comments from Secretary of War Pete Hegseth.

https://t.co/Gg7Zb09IMR

[Kenyon Herbert @kenyonherbert]

@TomFornelli @JWerner247 Live look at me when I heard that in real time

[Courtney Theriault @cspotweet]

"I hope and pray to leave this world too someday and to have a place near God as near as any other soul with the exception of John Candy."

Catherine O'Hara's eulogy for John Candy just hits harder today.

[Kenyon Herbert @kenyonherbert]

@cody__cubs The asking price will undoubtedly scare Jed, too. Just like it did at the deadline last year. But the Cubs will still say they need to save money for potential deadline moves that will never materialize. SSDD

[Kenyon Herbert @kenyonherbert]

@Brett_A_Taylor And then at the deadline, their evaluation will be that everything was too expensive, and nothing will be done. We've seen this show before.

[Kenyon Herbert @kenyonherbert]

@cody__cubs None of these moves in isolation are back breakers, but each one is symptomatic of a pattern. Not willing to spend a little more, defer money, or do anything at all out of the comfort zone in an effort to get better. While everyone else, including the MARLINS, are willing to.

[Kenyon Herbert @kenyonherbert]

@JAYChi_Cubs So far a C-. Assume the bullpen is roughly equivalent, the offense is worse, and the rotation is status quo. A lot depends on the final moves, but I am beyond skeptical that they are going to make any significant moves to shore up the lineup or the rotation.

[Kenyon Herbert @kenyonherbert]

@voiceofcohen2 I'll believe it when I see it. But they have earned nothing but skepticism to this point.

[Kenyon Herbert @kenyonherbert]

@WatchMarquee @JeffPassan

[Kenyon Herbert @kenyonherbert]

@JeffPassan

[Kenyon Herbert @kenyonherbert]

Narrator: they totally used it as an excuse.

[Bleacher Nation @BleacherNation]

Just Don’t Use Shota Imanaga’s Decision as an Excuse

https://t.co/bfAgLCSjZh

[Kenyon Herbert @kenyonherbert]

ILL!

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

'Vacations.'

The word is 'vacations.'

[Matthew Gertz @MattGertz]

Once you establish that people can be punished because the administration doesn't like their speech, expanding the bounds of who can be treated that way becomes inevitable.

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

Well, you knew this one was coming. In honor of SNL's 50th anniversary, here's Norm's famous monologue where he shits all over the show.

This was a year and a half after he was fired from (or was forced to resign from) SNL. And then the network inexplicably asked him to come back and host. And you knew Norm wasn't going to let the irony of THIS particular moment go by.

Nearly every Norm fan alive knows this clip. Which is good because it's surprisingly hard to find a good video of it online. They almost always get pulled down, chopped up, banished to Tiktok, or scrubbed. But I've written it up for you so now you will always know how it played out.

Happy 50th birthday, SNL. Hope you like crap!

1/x

[Kenyon Herbert @kenyonherbert]

@thezachleslie @ALionEye Not just any rules analyst, Illini favorite Bill Lemonnier