mackenzie

wishing you the best in the worst way
📍 Saratoga Springs, NY

[tay ! @homosexualitay]

lead tampon in me while i eat my listeria meat & cyclospora riddle veggies and wash it all down with microplastic water. afterwards, i inhale wildfire smoke and listen to the serene sounds of the data center built across the street. there’s a flock cam too recording it all

[Casual Thursday @CasualThursday]

I think there must’ve been some that exploding diarrhea bacteria in one of the 17 mango white claws I had last night

[Erin Durkin @erinmdurkin]

Yeah guys everything’s fine, it’s just mid-July and you can’t breathe the air or eat a salad.

[McNasty @McNasty]

hantavirus son or lettuce diarrhea daughter

[P @theogpooh]

We in a dookiedemic and I don’t see toilet paper flying off the shelves like during Covid???

[Eva Galán @clariateka]

Cuando tu jefe te dice: "Estamos todos en el mismo barco"

[Andrea @iiiitsandrea]

marked safe from explosive diarrhea

[¿ @umlarp]

putting in my too weak notice

[☔ @Whotfismick]

Having a good day as an adult is literally:
• got paid
• ate something good
• nobody annoyed me
• went home
• sleep

[Queer Latifah ✨ @TheAfrocentricI]

Can’t have my weekly chicken caesar salad wrap because idiots voted for a pedophile.

[Lindsey Graham @LindseyGrahamSC]

If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed.......and we will deserve it.

[Deanna Grey @DeannaKatee]

I'm really struggling to get into #InTheCity. My dislike for Amanda is too intense and I can't stand seeing her face. I really hope if there is a second season, she doesn't come back.

[M ⌖ ÆON @YUNGSADISTlC]

the only data center that should be funded is the fucking library.

[Conspiratorial Templates @mynamehear]

BREAKING: Senator Mitch McConnell dies, announces plans to run for senate again in 2028

[Megan 🦋 @meganmesmile]

In all seriousness, have they considered putting Jo-Ellen on the Nancy Guthrie case

[Deebs @DeebsFLA]

My wife, showing me where the salsa jar is in the fridge, after I looked for five minutes, and insinuated she was lying:

[Triiad ୭୭ @triiadxx]

Made it to Friday but at what cost? Monday is literally in 30 minutes.

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

I’m genuinely baffled by homes with no pets. Like, where’s your creature?? Where’s your house mascot??

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

I’m not emotionally prepared to log back onto the darkest corners of the internet tomorrow (Teams, Outlook, and Excel).