kerry_

[kerry_ @kerry_]

http://t.co/rgHHlHGsYl The Bible is subtitled "Shit My God Says".

[kerry_ @kerry_]

http://t.co/YcbG7I51R8 Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to "cheek his paperwork".

[kerry_ @kerry_]

Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell. http://t.co/9ONeXpqBFi

[kerry_ @kerry_]

Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity. http://t.co/LYtjogHkFx

[kerry_ @kerry_]

It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you http://t.co/Dmq56zx2j7

[kerry_ @kerry_]

http://t.co/3FJHxK55x8 It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you

[kerry_ @kerry_]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/yaRfjxLkBH

[kerry_ @kerry_]

http://t.co/57999tIIGO It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you

[kerry_ @kerry_]

http://t.co/fUqeLofle3 Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell.

[kerry_ @kerry_]

http://t.co/18cKPx7fFk Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity.

[kerry_ @kerry_]

http://t.co/maFEhwTqEX Some people are about as useful as the "r" in February.

[kerry_ @kerry_]

http://t.co/ct6dcP8yQD Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity.

[kerry_ @kerry_]

http://t.co/Bfp0yxOh2X Some people are about as useful as the "r" in February.

[kerry_ @kerry_]

http://t.co/xDxDEekPrh Dad: i don't know why you wear a bra-you've got nothing to put in it. MUM: you wear pants don't you?

[kerry_ @kerry_]

Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say "DRY" on the butt? http://t.co/hT724qJ5T7

[kerry_ @kerry_]

http://t.co/lVhdsMNrbT Is there anything sexier than a woman who reads? Yes: Models.

[kerry_ @kerry_]

Naps are for old people. I was taking a horizontal life pause. http://t.co/rmvtad2H

[kerry_ @kerry_]

I refuse to dance to any song that tells me how to dance in the lyrics http://t.co/AbXfnInJ

[kerry_ @kerry_]

http://t.co/cImdhcPi Anybody have some good summer reads for me that...Oh wait. Nevermind. Found my phone

[kerry_ @kerry_]

http://t.co/S67TnxXX No need to fight over me, ladies. I'm perfectly capable of disappointing all of you sexually.