Kurry is going for a scuttle

Come with some motherfucking civility.

#twinja

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I'm listening to a bunch of kindergartners complain about a tech issue and cannot recommend the experience enough.

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Cub apparently caught a whiff of Hamilton, blazing through the house to tell me "mommy, when I was a baby I was young, scrappy, and hungry."

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Bought Cub a kid-size broom & dustpan, a sturdy metal/wood combo. She used it to pick up a mess she made, I thanked her, she got happy & said 'now I can make music!'
& has since been banging them while yelling 'rock and roll!'

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@maladaptiveme Couple minutes ago, I yell-asked Michael Cohen how he has seen himself on tv in that blazer last year, yet he still owns it...
Just reminding you that I'm a judgmental jerk about the wardrobe choices of *all* public figures

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@JoyceWhiteVance They do, and I most certainly don't!

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@bloodlesscoup Stomach acid can't even handle corn.
I had a whole joke & gif setup for how embarrassing this is to post but Twitter ate it so I guess I'm out of dignity now, forever.

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Way, way up in my bullshit tonight https://t.co/dLRNly4zRK

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Just asked my 5-yo if she's on mushrooms

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@Mandylicious___ Ilu, sweetpea. My situation is obvi different from yours but I have some experience with the dad who can't get that This Is Not About Him
Ugghh. Feel free to call. Xo

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@thereidout ILU but can news folks stop calling violent interlopers "vigilantes"? It implies that they are enforcing legitimate laws.

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@mhdksafa Yeah, still doing it. I'm asthmatic and the single parent of a fantastic 5-yo special needs kid. This would not be a great time for me to die.

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Bedtime: Cub's in her bed, dog is on the floor next to mine, all is well.
Nigh-4am wakeup/water refill: Cub's in my bed, snuck into a corner so she didn't wake me. Took me a minute to find the large smelly dog, completely sprawled across her entire bed.

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@yasminv Trump upset about not getting expedient results when he really, really wants to know the answer...

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Neither these horses nor these camerapeople seem great at their jobs today

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@nivenus If you do watch it, I welcome conversations over any single detail. Love that show.

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@nivenus I thought it was the best show on tv when it aired.