Kerstin Heinrich

what if we kissed in the home depot

[Fav ⛧ @Favwontmiss]

Turns out that if you do well in school and are at least moderately attractive, they just let you raw dog ADHD and autism until your thirties.

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

Turns out, if you get good grades and learn to hold your sh*t together because you’re not to cause a scene, you can raw dog ADHD until Perimenopause sends you into a full-blown Menty B.

[🕷️ @rtzvv]

i have to go nonverbal and isolate myself about this

[natasha @imniceandsmart]

tuna melt and a diet coke with lime and salt. the path is so clear for me

[🗣️ @vzzeo]

Corporate life is mostly pretending you didn’t see that email until you’re emotionally ready

[mak @matchageekbar]

my boobs are so big because they have to protect my fragile heart

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

Hotel ACs are the McDonalds sprite of air conditioning

[miia @miiagarro]

i hate when my side hustle (my job) gets in the way of my main hustle (dilly dallying)

[Soleil @soleiljolina]

Having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like I can’t be saved

[jovan the kind @ehjovan]

its scary how much my coworkers trust me like they just tell me anything including their felonies and child support cases and im just like yeah i dont really like olives as the extent of my personal information

[aia @mwahwolfe]

some people just don’t understand the cultural significance of a photo taken of your hand holding your theatre programme or playbill with the stage out of focus in the background.

[cessi 🏀 @ceciiii07]

“You fucking idiot bitch” me to the video game character that I’m in full control of

[trash jones @jzux]

i can relate to crows because i also love holding grudges and bringing little gifts to my friends

[jezz @JezziiB]

HOT TAKE: PEOPLE WHO FEEL HOT SHOULD DECIDE THE TEMPERATURE OF A ROOM. PEOPLE WHO FEEL COLD SHOULD WEAR A SWEATER.

[uMARAZOR @zizithebadgal]

ive been closer to death than a healthy relationship

[𝟮𝟭.🛸 @Big_tagg]

is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love and start over

[Luke Heeney @heeney_luke]

On the CalTrain and there’s a guy breaking up with his girlfriend because he can’t handle long distance (he’s SF, she’s Palo Alto)

[Zweil @somethings_awry]

Deleting the dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (Absolutely nowhere, not at all)

[corb @awshuqs]

they should sell collars that shock you every time you get the urge to redownload Hinge