kelly

“can’t ride two horses with one ass, sugar bean” #RollDukes #RavensFlock

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

Another day, another @CCPDVa officer TYPING ON HIS LAPTOP while going 50mph……seems suuuuuuuuper safe!

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

I enjoy hearing Saban say how JMU shouldn’t belong in the playoffs and in the same breath say that Indiana is such a good team…like Cignetti didn’t take 10+ players with him to Indiana from where….Oh wait, JMU 🙃 @PatMcAfeeShow just kinda weird, ya know?

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

Make this make sense @NFL because I cannot. Why is the “local” game in VA on @CBSSports Kansas City and Denver? And not Baltimore…the game that’s literally one state away…

Maybe I’m misunderstanding the definition of the word “local”. Y’all let me know!!! 🙃

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

The @AmericanExpress lounge at @IntlAirportCLT has 100 seats but don’t worry, they let in 200 people. So you can stand and eat, or put 4 people at a table meant for 2.

Oh!! And don’t worry, they don’t care that you don’t have a seat either. Customer service = 0/10. 0 stars.

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

Hey @FedEx I really wish I had a porch for you to leave my packages on instead of the direct middle of my driveway…

OH WAIT I DO 🙃

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

Hey @PoppyScrubs can you restock any time soon? You’ve been out for well over 6 months 🙃

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

If the @NFL and the @Ravens love me AT ALL, the Bal @ MIA game will be in November 🤞🏻😭💜

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

Meanwhile in Florida, a beagle protects its family home from an alligator

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

Any time “Two Dozen Roses” comes on the shuffle…..watch out. That’s all I got to say 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Shenandoahband

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

If the @NFL can just tell us what time @kendricklamar performs….that’d be great. Will be watching commercials and halftime.

The rest of the game is irrelevant bc the refs are going to give it to Kermit and the Swifties.

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

@AshleighMozelle Love you both!! ❤️

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

people at 30+ years old that still get drunk every night of the week……you good? 🥴

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

@AshleighMozelle You’re doing the Lord’s work feeding that beautiful boy!!!

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

I still love @Mandrews_81 💜

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

Apparently, @dunkindonuts cuts their ovens off hours before they close. Had no clue. Now this night shift worker who skipped picking up dinner for her shift to get breakfast from you guys….now has neither. Store closes at 8, ovens off at 630pm. Make it make sense.

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

To the Silverado with MD 30-day tags that brake checked me the entire way to work tonight, wouldn’t let me switch lanes, and went on the shoulder to go around someone…

I hope your dad stops making the payments and it gets repossessed 🙃

& hopefully, you don’t kill anyone smh

[Austine @theereal_one]

Apparently, lemons are not naturally occurring. They're a hybrid by cross breeding a bitter orange and a citron. So basically life never gave us lemons, we created them ourselves.

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

Hi @MaddieandTae is there an instrumental version of Strangers? I’d love to use it for my ceremony 😭💍🤞🏻

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

Number 1 sub chain and it ain’t even close 🥪😋

[Pat McAfee @PatMcAfeeShow]

Good morning beautiful people… When Jersey Mike walked his ass into the kitchen and made a sandwich for the first time.. the lord above blessed his hands.

What a fucking sub

[kelly @kewwyjohnson]

Don’t mind me….just bawling my eyes out at these @NFL draft reaction videos 🥹😭