Went with my now (ex) to clean his mum’s grave. It was fairly early in the relationship, but I knew his dad, brother, etc.
I look up, and his mum (I’d seen photos) is walking towards us. I didn’t breathe. I didn’t say a word.
Why wouldn’t you tell me your dead mum is a twin?
I was in an airport restroom when a man knocked and said, “Dad with a 4 year old coming in!” He sounded mortified. He kept his back to everyone, stared at the ceiling like it personally offended him, and speed-walked his daughter into a stall.
A woman whispered, “Unbelievable.”
What’s unbelievable is expecting a preschooler to brave the men’s restroom alone in a crowded airport. He did the respectful thing: he warned us, kept it brief, and focused on his child.
Sometimes the safest choice isn’t the most traditional one.
Extremely hot take that undoubtedly is going to make someone mad and that’s not my intent but something that really actually deeply annoys me is when I mention losing my dad traumatically at 23 and someone’s like oh I get it I lost my grandparent when they were 90.
I’m srry I get it it’s not the suffering Olympics and yeah losing anyone you love is very hard, I lost my grandma who was my best friend and lived in a house attached to mine and helped raise me when she was 85. It hurts and it sucks but no unless you have lost a parent you loved deeply at a young age and have to live the rest of your life knowing they’ll never be at your wedding and your kids will never have them as a grandparent it is not a feeling you can actually comprehend.
And I grasp people try to relate and I understand some may mean well but no, losing my grandma who was already very old whose life was coming to its sunset was nowhere near comparable to losing my dad when I was barely an adult yet. I don’t want you to try to relate to me with the loss of your grandparent. You actually do not understand and that’s totally fine but let’s just not try to
I want the kind of money that lets me show up for my people. Even if I can’t fix everything, i want to at least soften the moment. To send food. To send transport fare. To send ice-cream money on a hard day.
I’m tired of only saying “sorry.”
You ever sat back in your home and looked at all the stuff you have and just become generally aware that you’re an independent adult who pays bills and keeps yourself alive and decorated a home and it hits you you aren’t 16 anymore and you never will be again and this is your life and you’re living it and you made it