melvin

',: |

[melvin @kickpiss]

make sure that PDF is submitted and readable. #academictips

[melvin @kickpiss]

just dropped a fat one and got paid for it. #workpoop

[melvin @kickpiss]

just watched my lecture at 1X speed, they can't be fr

[melvin @kickpiss]

yes it's 8:59 am, yes I'm awake, don't get your panties in a bunch

[melvin @kickpiss]

maturing is realizing you can go for a walk at 3 am without a joint

[melvin @kickpiss]

how are you 30 having hate in your heart dumb shit

[melvin @kickpiss]

mayo on a sandwich gives it a little bit of.. je ne sais quoi

[melvin @kickpiss]

the cringer is the cringest

[melvin @kickpiss]

it's not about who can do it best it's about who actually DOES it

[melvin @kickpiss]

born to fart forced to move around in chair uncomfortably

[melvin @kickpiss]

she pull my pork til I sour cream

[melvin @kickpiss]

in the jim. straight up "shakin it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My protein

[melvin @kickpiss]

not enough to ketchup, but it's all I can mustard

[melvin @kickpiss]

she slide my google meet in the sheets

[melvin @kickpiss]

is steak dairy

[melvin @kickpiss]

Lego city ahh crime

https://t.co/p3p19z9WBt

[melvin @kickpiss]

this lotion ad is what would happen if you gave drake a handjob

[melvin @kickpiss]

it be your closest allies who ask for un billet

[melvin @kickpiss]

didn't know a piss could be this fat

[melvin @kickpiss]

gaslighting myself I didn't just drop a blueberry under the fridge so I don't have to pick it up