meat twinkie 🐀

Ty × 31 × He/Him × I think I’m a lot funnier than I am

[judy hilarious @sagebeatlove_]

I’m calling a team meeting because what the fuck?

[athena astropallas @astro__pallas]

pride month day 19. still have not had gay sex. prospects are dire.

[via @atrophicbtrfly]

salt and vinegar chips are kinda like mouth BDSM

[Chris @citehchris]

not to get all lovey dovey but we could be slamming beers and ripping cigs at a dive bar doing a hostile take over of the touch tunes together if you’re down

[meat twinkie 🐀 @kidnothingpt0]

People need to learn to mind their business. Once a day someone comments on how skinny my dog is on our walks. And it’s harder and harder to stay polite when I have to tell them she’s sick and her body is using everything it has to stay alive.

[bug girl @buggirl]

in nature if a monkey hoarded 1 trillion bananas the other monkeys would beat that monkey to death and take his bananas

[Juri @lizziedosssssss]

this is what i want women to call me

[bug girl @buggirl]

i wonder when someone will become the first dead trillionaire

[meat twinkie 🐀 @kidnothingpt0]

Guess what? This guy is off the market. (Not because I’m dating someone but because it is a nightmare out there and I need a break)

[meat twinkie 🐀 @kidnothingpt0]

I swear, people do not care about foreplay like they used to.

[emi @vxmpcore_]

foot jobs aren’t unnatural why do we think arched are shaped like that

[femboy mac macdonald @lilmollzerz]

you've heard of Porn Brain. well i've got Film Brain. i'll be looking at a sunset and think What A Terrific Shot. WHAT "SHOT" YOU IDIOT? THAT'S LIFE!

[ِ @anjoazl]

i know it is a privilege to feel things deeply, but what the fuck

[meat twinkie 🐀 @kidnothingpt0]

So I get the discourse around Obsession; my issue is movies where the fear comes from an “incle” man recking havoc is that none of them really look at how these men are a product of the man they have let themselves become/who they surround themselves with.

[bren @brenbelike]

A heartjob is when you get jerked off by love #romance

[meat twinkie 🐀 @kidnothingpt0]

Nora’s First Pride. She’s gay now.

[meat twinkie 🐀 @kidnothingpt0]

I was having a conversation with a girl I’m seeing over snap using pictures, and for no reason, she used a picture of her foot in VERY complimentary heel right before asking to come over.

[⟲ @unotfbg]

when girls know u like feet they use it against u

[ROBYNA 👽 @socoolrobyna]

Why do evil people always have a hole in their neck?? First Charlie Kirk now trump??

[Bec @eddardkrak]

Saw some boobs. Huge fan

[meat twinkie 🐀 @kidnothingpt0]

I swear, my upstairs neighbor has to be walking around saying “FEE FI FO FOM” as he stomps around his apartment.