KeKe

I’m 24 || Actor, Voiceover Actor Likes video games, musicals, and avengers

[KeKe @kierra_cain]

Don't mistake my silence for weakness

[Brujo 𓆰⏾𓆪 @FerMPalazzo]

Too many of you sleeping on him
1-he ressurected himself and his brother
2-created a whole pocket dimension that ran on autopilot with trees,houses,water, sky and moon without effort
3-Death can't take him unless he wants to
4-Wanda can't control him and he can lift her spells

[ᵗˣᵗnat⁷ | saw bts ♡ @Imoblivion4ever]

jednak czasem uwielbiam tiktoka 😭😭😭

[Evan Solo🎈 @evansolott]

It’s so wild that this only happened because hulk had to take the stairs

[chia @julianmiflaco]

this tangled scene is so gut wrenching. rapunzel's parents dont say a single word the whole movie yet you can FEEL their grief and pain with a few frames. masterpiece

[marqix ☆ @fwmarqix]

Doctor's office called: "Your test results are back, you're pregnant."

Me: I'm a 53 year-old man.

Nurse: (pause) Let me check... yes, says here you're pregnant. 8 weeks.

Me: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

Nurse: Are you sure you're not pregnant?

Me: VERY SURE.

Nurse: The bloodwork doesn't lie.

Me: THE BLOODWORK IS CONFUSED.

Went in person, they ran more tests.

Doctor: Well... you're definitely not pregnant.

Me: I KNOW THAT.

Doctor: But someone with your name and birthday is.

Me: WHO?

Doctor: We can't disclose that.

Me: THEY'RE USING MY IDENTITY TO BE PREGNANT?

Doctor: Apparently.

Me: FOR WHAT PURPOSE?

Doctor: Insurance fraud, probably.

Called my insurance company.

Me: Someone's using my identity to fake a pregnancy.

Agent: That's a new one.

Me: CAN YOU CANCEL THE CLAIM?

Agent: We've already paid out $4,000 in prenatal care.

Me: FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S BABY.

Agent: Technically YOUR baby. According to our records.

Me: I DON'T HAVE A BABY.

Agent: Then you'll need to prove it.

Me: HOW DO I PROVE I'M NOT PREGNANT?

Agent: Medical examination?

Me: I JUST DID THAT.

Agent: We'll need notarized proof.

Me: OF WHAT? THAT I'M A MAN?

Agent: That you're not currently gestating.

Told my wife.

Wife: You're WHAT?

Me: Pregnant. Legally.

Wife: How is that possible?

Me: IDENTITY THEFT.

Wife: Who would steal your identity to be pregnant?

Me: SOMEONE WITH BAD INSURANCE.

Wife: This is insane.

Me: I'M GETTING WEEKLY PREGNANCY EMAILS.

Wife: What do they say?

Me: "Your baby is the size of a lime."

Wife: (laughing) That's actually kind of sweet.

Me: IT'S FRAUD.

Got a call from a baby store.

Store: Your registry is ready for your shower!

Me: I don't have a registry.

Store: Says here you do. Crib, stroller, 400 diapers.

Me: I'M NOT HAVING A BABY.

Store: The shower is next Saturday.

Me: WHOSE SHOWER?

Store: Yours. At 2pm. We're expecting 30 guests.

Me: CANCEL IT.

Store: It's non-refundable.

Police got involved.

Detective: So someone's pretending to be you... while pregnant.

Me: Yes.

Detective: Male pregnancy fraud. That's a first.

Me: CAN YOU FIND THEM?

Detective: We're working on it.

Me: HOW LONG?

Detective: These things take time.

Me: THE BABY'S DUE IN SEVEN MONTHS.

Detective: Then we'll solve it before the birth.

Me: THAT'S NOT COMFORTING.

Started getting hospital bills.

$800 for an ultrasound I never had.

$1,200 for vitamins I never took.

$2,500 for a "gender reveal consultation."

Me: (calling hospital) WHAT'S A GENDER REVEAL CONSULTATION?

Hospital: It's when we help plan your party.

Me: I'M NOT HAVING A PARTY.

Hospital: You signed up for premium service.

Me: NO I DIDN'T.

Hospital: Someone did.

Wife found the fake registry online.

Wife: They registered for a $3,000 stroller.

Me: WHO NEEDS A $3,000 STROLLER?

Wife: Someone with your insurance, apparently.

Me: THIS IS NIGHTMARE.

Wife: Look, someone bought the stroller.

Me: WHO?

Wife: "Anonymous gift from Aunt Susan."

Me: I DON'T HAVE AN AUNT SUSAN.

Wife: Neither does the fake you, probably.

Got invited to a birthing class.

Instructor: (on phone) We're excited to have you and your partner!

Me: I'm not coming.

Instructor: It's required for your birth plan.

Me: I DON'T HAVE A BIRTH PLAN.

Instructor: It says here you want a water birth with aromatherapy.

Me: I DON'T WANT ANY BIRTH.

Instructor: That's not an option once you're pregnant.

Me: I'M NOT PREGNANT.

Instructor: Sir, denial is common. We'll work through it.

Police finally found the person.......🧵

[Enzra Miller @Enzramiller]

When someone cuts you off 🤣

[Dog of the Year @MaimaiBaby12705]

So many people are saying "there won't be a season 2 because of the fanbase"

No, there won't be a season 2 because the story ended. The story is over. Why would there be a season 2?

[🥷 @_iamhabeeb]

I rebuke the cycle of living paycheck to paycheck. I declare overflow, favor, and provision

[lottie ᢉ𐭩 @lovesicklokii]

cause no matter how much you claim to love me YOU COULD NEVER HAVE A FROST GIANT SITTING ON THE THRONE OF ASGARD

[T @dfwtee_]

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE.

[Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds]

The fans got Deadpool off the ground so many years ago. Yesterday, 10 years after the first film and exactly 2 years after Deadpool & Wolverine, I felt so lucky to be on the #SDCC floor with everyone whose unapologetic devotion brings so much joy to this world.

[angel @angelibnida]

they were right to delete this bc i would've k*lled myself on the spot

[☯︎s | ४ @oswildinart]

me to marvel studios if loki dies in doomsday (or secret wars) and doesn’t get a happy ending

[𝐿𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝐼𝑛 𝑉𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𓆩♡𓆪 @LostInVisionss]

one of disney's best decisions was letting esmeralda care deeply about quasimodo without making her fall in love with him

[Redd @ReddCinema]

Loki really hit the biggest “Hell nah” in movie history 💯

[C.R.M™ ESV♠ @TolarCarter]

I’ll keep clapping and applauding others until it’s my turn.

[Today Years Old @todayyearsold]

Before the war between Android and Apple started, the war between 0.5 and 0.7 users was the one that separate humans from each other

[Marie🧚 @glitchu__]

God, please remove the spirit of laziness when it comes to praying, hustling & studying.

[oluwatise @maintishe]

I’ll keep clapping for others until it’s my turn