caila

eating runny egg yolks on things

[caila @killercabrera]

Is @JessicaVosk kidding? Like. Is she kidding. The run? In that ‘defying’ ...? Of her last defying gravity? On Broadway? She’s laughing at us with her European 85% butterfat buttered vocal chords

[New Jersey @NJGov]

NATIONAL NEW JERSEY DAY

[☆ ‧dreamboy··‧̩̥˟͙冬˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

y’all be silent as hell when niggas dedicate their entire music catalogue to rapping about sleeping with multiple women. but when i do anything remotely sexual i’m “being sexually irresponsible” & “causing more men to die from aids” y’all hate gay ppl and don’t hide it.

[caila @killercabrera]

@JessicaVosk Weirder things have happened in 2021 we’ll be ready

[Mara Wilson @MaraWilson]

I love when antiv*xxers have clearly had tons of Botox

[caila @killercabrera]

@jssmith15 @orteganatalie Jack and I went to college together and I can confirm with absolute certainty that he did, in fact, burn stuff for fun

[caila @killercabrera]

@orteganatalie Wish I was funny enough to do a response by the only girl in the kitchen who is terrified of losing her power over the cooks to the new hot girl but has an unbothered demeanor to uphold

[New Jersey @NJGov]

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: Pennsylvania drivers are BANNED from the State of New Jersey.

[luul 🌻 @mightbeluela]

I still can’t forget the time i read a tweet where a man spoke of the thrill he got every time he walked behind a woman and she sped up a little. he said he’d never actually hurt a woman but liked how it made him feel to know they were scared. let’s just sit on that for a second.

[caila @killercabrera]

@orteganatalie Can I tell you how mad I am that I didn’t see this was satire until after getting VERY excited

[The Broadway Beat @BwayBeatNews]

STUDY: How New York's Plan to Legalize Marijuana Could Skyrocket Sales for "Gazillion Bubble Show” https://t.co/SjrAmECJoe

[caila @killercabrera]

Can we focus on the 60 he work week first pls :-/

[caila @killercabrera]

🎶 high school neverrrr endssss 🎶

[caila @killercabrera]

Hoping none of my Spotify followers see that I was listening to Bruno Mars tonight

[Luke Mones @LukeMones]

basic rule of thumb: if your name is carved into a manatee, you are probably the bad guy

[Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome]

It feels like I just took my decorations down from last impeachment!

[Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome]

After these FBI arrests, just think of all the basements that moms will be able to redecorate.

[caila @killercabrera]

@JessicaVosk Jessica I am a pastry chef which actually you know about me *a la my birthday cameo* and I just have to firmly state my belief that the edges should simply be discarded or used as an ice cream topping and nothing more